The Holloway Clan

Photo Card

2011-10-27T08:10:00.001-07:00

Joy In Pictures Holiday

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LDS.org - Family Chapter Detail - The Family:A Proclamation to the World

2011-07-12T22:05:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday in Relief Society the lesson was on the family and so of course the Proclamation that was put out by the First Presidency in 1995 was used. As always no matter how many times you may read or listen to something you can always learn something new. This time I learned something about being a single parent and guiding my children in this gospel and helping them to get back to our Heavenly Father. In life I am trying my best to cover both roles. Yes the kids do see their dad but when they don't I am the one to feel that spot (I tell you it is not easy!!!) When it comes to the church I kinda feel a little bit lost because the priesthood which I used to have in my home is not there all the time. I have many family members and brethern in the church who are there for me when I need them though. They take such good care of me and my kids and I am so thankful for it. Anyways as I was saying I wasn't quite sure how to be the father rold model when it came to some stuff. As we read through the fathers part in the family my jaw dropped and a lightbulb went off. Honestly it scares me even more because that much more pressure and responsibility is put on my shoulders. I want to be the best I can for my kids. I want them to strive to have a relationship with God and each other. Some days I feel I am walking in the right direction and other days I feel so lost and alone. Thank goodness for prayers and a loving and forgiving Father in Heaven. For those who haven't ever read the proclamation to the family or for those who need a refresher here you go. I hope you enjoy and know that with God we are able to do all. Family and religion are huge to me. They make life worth living and striving for so I will have an eternal family!

LDS.org - Family Chapter Detail - The Family:A Proclamation to the World

4th of July

2011-07-10T21:31:00.000-07:00

I know I am doing my kids a disservice when I talk more about the fun plans for 4th of July than what 4th of July really is about. I usually try and have a family home evening lesson about our freedoms prior to the 4th but I totally flopped this year because I didn't get the kids back until the 3rd and I was so excited to have them home after them being gone for 2 weeks I just relished in their hugs and hearing their voices. We did have fun together so I guess us having the Freedom to do that is what I am most grateful for.
We spent the 4th here in our hometown. I love little towns and their holiday celebrations. I know the fireworks will never live up to a cities but we have stuff out here that in the city is mayhem. We had pie eating contests, candy grab, games and of course the most looked forward to firemans water fight! At night we went back to the park to watch the fireworks. I don't know if its just me or what but there is something magical about laying underneath the night sky with fireworks going off and patriotic music playing. I love my Country!!! I love living out here and enjoying a small town 4th of July.

Our new home

2011-06-15T21:20:00.000-07:00

Pictures of our new house. We are loving being in our own place and unpacking. The kids are finding lots of treasures that have been packed away for a year. They are happy and so excited with each box they open. I am glad they are all smiles because my boxes are not so easy to unpack. Each day brings a new meltdown but I just go to my room and cry it out. I than try and find something else to do to get me through the pain. Eventually I can go back to unpacking and for the day the pain has passed. My parents have been here with me and have stepped in when needed and held back when asked. I am grateful for them being here at this time. I know I could have done this without them but it sure helps to have someone there. This past weekend the kids and I were up in Lincoln and my parents had a little too much fun at some yard sales. They had already brought stuff down for me from Oregon but found more treasures and for awesome prices! I bet if I was the one out there prices would have been doubled if not tripled thats always my luck! Anyways they got the daybed for Sierras room, entertainment center and 2 book shelves in my family room, my kitchen table (which I totally love!) with 8 chairs and even a barstool thrown in. Our home is coming together nicely and pretty soon it will be time for my sister Shannon to step in with her decorating expertise. Its gonna look wonderful and be just the home we need. I continue to feel so blessed. People are helping me every corner I turn. The support out here is amazing and I continue to feel I am making the right choices for me and my kids.
When I was making plans for the storage pod to be delivered they told me if I could have it unloaded in 30 minutes the guy would just sit and wait and than he wouldn't have to drop it off and come back and get it days later which would save me $150. The guy said do you think you can do that? I said of course I will get some guys from my church to help. He honestly didn't believe me and I honestly was nervous seeing as they couldn't give me a time just said we will call you when we are headed there!! We at least knew the day so I kinda prepped helpers. When the storage got here I had my parents, my sister and 3 of her kids and than 5 of their friends. Within a bit there were about 8 more people from church who showed up. I thought I would be good to help but as soon as those doors for my pod swung open I broke down and basically spent the entire time in the corner of my room crying. I couldn't pull it together and knew my stuff was in good hands so I spent my time releasing hurt and anger and feeling Gods love for me take over till I was calm again. The pod was unloaded in exactally 30 min! The driver said "WOW I didn't think you could do that and I have never seen this many people show up to help. Makes me want to move back to a small town!" Yep I am blessed. Thank you to everyone who helped physically and to those who have sent their prayers and thoughts my way. They are being felt and I am so grateful to have so many good friends and family around the kids and I!

Tucker and the twins share a room

Sierras cool new bed

Courts room is small but my sister Shannon had this cool bunk. Court is loving it and it gives her room the space she wouldn't have otherwise. Her desk is already covered in her art supplies!

Womens Conference 2011

2011-05-02T14:15:00.000-07:00

This was my 2ND year at Women's conference. I really enjoy it but honestly enjoy time with my sisters much more. I am so glad I come from a close family. We have our differences but we know we always be there for each other. We have invited our brother on our sisters trip numerous times but for some reason he passes. This year my mom sacrificed going to Women's Conference so I could go. Since I had no one to watch my kids she said she would stay with them and let me go as "I needed it more" I know it was a huge sacrifice for her and I greatly appreciate it. I had a rough beginning to my week and was really hesitant about going but when I got in the car on Wednesday I knew I was doing the right thing. I would be blessed and the growth would come as I listened and built my self esteem back up.

These two pictures would be my sisters who procrastinated picking their classes out! I knew what I was doing because I am that good :)
They eventually figured out their classes and for the most part we were all pleased with the classes that day whether we made it to the ones we originally wanted to or not. I really feel that Gods hand is in this. We may know what we want to go to but than end up in another class that was way more suited for us. That's why we should always pray and trust in the Lord to guide us.

I love the mountains but I was really trying to catch the women going from one class to another. It is awesome to see thousands of Women in one place for one purpose and that is to be better daughters of God. The morning session we sang As Sisters In Zion. That song always touches me deep and listening to thousands of sisters singing was such an amazing experience. There is such strength in the sisters in Christs church.

Thursday night there is a concert. Last years was so good but I think this years was even better part of the reason was because I got to meet those who preformed. Amazing talent was on the stage that night and some really cute talent also. Seeing though as the guys were either to young or married with kids I could only drool from afar LOL! My pictures on my camera didn't turn out that well and I was bummed that my favorite one with Kirby Heyborne didn't make it. I have liked him since the RM came out. I will say I was quite starstruck that night. I have never met anyone famous before so I was like a crazy teenager. My sisters dealt with it and supported me in my craziness. In concert was Kirby Heyborne, David Osmond, Josh Wright, Hillary Weeks, Jenny Oaks Baker, and Vocal Point. They all did such an amazing job. I laughed and I cried.
This picture is my sister Krysten, David Osmond, and I.

One of the fun things we do is service. There are lists and lists of stuff to accomplish while at Women's Conference. I am amazed every year with how much stuff gets put together. It truly is amazing what can be done with lots of sisters willing to serve! Janine and I thought we would help make princess wands to be donated to children's hospitals. They seemed easy enough till we started. Seriously the hardest craft I have ever done. I swear it is way harder than it looks. Janine is totally crafty and so it made me feel much better when she struggled.

This last picture makes me happy. This is one of my Bet Friends for school. I met Heather McCrosky when I moved to Panaca in 2ND grade. We have been friends ever since. We don't get together or talk as much as we would like so we were both pleasantly surprised when we were both going to be at Conference. We got lots of time to catch up and even though it had been 5 years since we last saw each other and many months since talking we fell right back in place. Heather is truly an amazing daughter of God. I love her and look up (or down) to her. I will strive even harder to not let 5 years pass again!

ModBod Outlet

2011-04-30T16:28:00.000-07:00

Womens Conference and Sisters trip what could be better? I will post about that later. Today my post is about the coolest store and the two ladies who work there. As we were driving up to Provo for Womens Conference we saw a sign near the Springville exit for a ModBod Outlet. We exited and stopped at a gas station to ask directions (you men would know nothing about this) and we found a lady who didn't know where it was but as she was driving home she saw it turned around and came back to tell us where it was. Yep gotta love Utah people:) Anyways we found the store and were greatly dissapointed to find it closed. They are only open Fridays and Saturdays. We plastered our eyes to the windows trying to see all the cool stuff inside when out of the back room steps one of the ladies and shocked us. She came right up to the window and we carried on a conversation trying to get her to open the store for us as "we would make it worth her while" she told us the register wasn't up working we said its ok because we had cash! Well we finally left but of course had to make a stop on our way back home on Friday. As soon as we walked into the store she started laughing and grabbed the other lady and said "these are the girls I told you about!" Seriously these two ladies are the sweetest funniest girls ever. They totally made our shopping enjoyable and the clothes are outlet prices. We danced and sang (ok maybe just me) LOL hello who can stand still when Taylor Swift is on the radio??? Anyways we promised the ladies we would facebook and blog to get the stores name out. The store has only been opened since November I believe. Here is the address and phone number if you are ever up that way stop in and tell them Rachel and her crazy sisters told you to stop in!
ModBod Outlet 1180 N. Main St. Springville, UT 84663
1-801-491-7472

Funny thing is we all chose our bags without the others knowing so the fact that we ended up with pink and green just tells you how close our minds still are.

This is my new dress and shirt Love it!!!

Happy

2011-04-21T00:59:00.000-07:00

For the past 2 weeks there has been a huge change come over me. I have seen and felt it inside me, those around me have commented on how happy I am. I came to this point almost overnight I decided I wanted to be happy and I was gonna do all I can to be happy again. I don't want to be a slave to the happy pill anymore. I can take charge of my life and because my depression is not patholgical and is situational I can work through this. I have many friends who suffer and I know they still need the help. I am not downplaying it at all for them. Depression is so real and needs to be taken care of with help. I have found for myself though I could take charge of it and I haven't taken the pill in 2 weeks and I am happier than I have been in a long time. I miss me. I hate my kids seeing me unhappy and crying constantly. I want them to see mom happy and see mom surviving this horrible thing thats happened in our lives. With the help of a good friend I have stepped away from things that were tying me down and looked to those things which would set my heart free and sailing. I can not change the past only effect the future. We can withstand and overcome that which is placed in our lives. God gives us only what we can handle. God knows more than me and has never led me astray. I keep my eyes on Him and will be so happy. My bucket has been draining for awhile now and in the past 2 weeks it has gone from empty to overflowing. I have to give credit to some very dear friends and family. Some friends I haven't spoken to in 13+ years and through this have reconnected with. Family who has always been there for me and always will. I love you all and I am sooooooo thankful to be feeling happy and alive again.

Finding Peace

2011-04-05T14:02:00.000-07:00

Its been awhile since I have blogged. Its been awhile since I have been on the computer to check up on my friends and family. I get on occasionally to let family know what is going on in my life and then to check if they would respond. It's way too hard to talk to anyone about my pain. I feel like I am bugging or depressing those around me when I talk about myself. There is so much going on in the world around me but for now I am stuck on me. I haven't decided if that is bad or good yet :). My marriage officially ended March 23I didn't find out till the 25th and thank goodness I was on the other line with my sister Janine because I needed someone to just listen to me cry. My little kids were all around and they took turns sitting with me and loving me. My older girls got home from school and I talked to each one of them and held them. I had gotten to a point 2 weeks prior where I honestly realized that Daniel was not gonna change his mind. I have spent every day and night on my knees in prayer. I have grown spiritually and feel my Saviors arms around me constantly. I feel the prayers and the love of my family and friends, both in this world and out. I feel a loss for my family and for myself. I miss my Daniel more than I could ever express. Nobody will ever quite understand my feelings for him in the past present or future. For awhile I tried to get family and friends to understand but one night I realized these are my treasured feelings. God knows them and he understands them. The Friday afternoon I walked upstairs slipped my ring off my finger and put it away I felt that door close but I opened up another door a second later. That door is healing. I let myself for 5 months mourn and feel the intense mental spiritual and physical pain of my heart shattering. I am trying my best to move forward but with each step I take I usually get moved back 2 steps by hearing his voice or seeing his face. I am working on being stronger but I am not working alone. There is no peace when you are alone. Peace comes from our great redeemer. The Savior of our souls. Without my Heavenly Father and His son I would still be stuck in misery. I search the scriptures, I pray, I fast, I read everything uplifting and edifying I can get my hands on, I ask for blessings constantly (doesn't matter the time of night and thank goodness I have an awesome Brother In Law) I am going through the refiners fire. I am standing up to my Goliath. I WILL NOT LET SATAN WIN! This is my fight. I have control no one else. I am strengthening my children in the process. I am helping their testimonies to grow. We are surviving. The only one who knows my future is God. I have hopes and dreams but as always leave it to God "as Thy will be done".
Elder Holland in speaking about the Relief Society said this:
"And if the winds blow, the winds blow. If the storms come, the storms come. The gospel is ALWAYS the answer whatever the question. It will always prevail. We are built on the rock that is Jesus Christ, and it is His solid rock ribbed gospel that will get us through tough times."
This is my strength and testimony. There is no answer except the gospel. It has and always will bring happiness and peace. It is where I have turned since I can remember to bring peace to my soul. It has never let me down. Times have been hard and there have been challenges but when I lean on my religion and the teachings of my parents I never get lost only blessed and I am thankful for that.

The Three Rs of Choice

2011-03-07T21:39:00.000-08:00

President Thomas S. Monson
I love this talk by our prophet because it is about a subject close to my heart. We have all sinned in this life and will continue to do so. I remember hearing as a girl our prophet saying there is not a day that goes by that he is not on his knees asking for forgiveness from his Heavenly Father. At that moment I felt such relief knowing that even the prophet needs forgiveness. My favorite scripture is in Isiah and is quoted in this talk. I love the imagery of it and being in both of those places I feel and know the difference. I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who accepts my repentance and for a loving Savior who atoned for sins on my behalf. I have a strong testimony of the power of the atonement and of repentance. I plead with President Monson in asking you to let go of your sins and come back to our Heavenly Father. It is hard BUT it is not unreachable!
I have been thinking recently about choices and their consequences. Scarcely an hour of the day goes by but what we are called upon to make choices of one sort or another. Some are trivial, some more far-reaching. Some will make no difference in the eternal scheme of things, and others will make all the difference.

I mention first the right of choice. President David O. McKay, ninth President of the Church, said, “Next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God’s greatest gift to man.”
The prophet Lehi tells us: “Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.”

Next, with the right of choice comes the responsibility to choose. We cannot be neutral; there is no middle ground. The Lord knows this; Lucifer knows this. As long as we live upon this earth, Lucifer and his hosts will never abandon the hope of claiming our souls.
Although in our journey we will encounter forks and turnings in the road, we simply cannot afford the luxury of a detour from which we may never return. Lucifer, that clever pied piper, plays his lilting melody and attracts the unsuspecting away from the safety of their chosen pathway, away from the counsel of loving parents, away from the security of God’s teachings. He seeks not just the so-called refuse of humanity; he seeks all of us, including the very elect of God. King David listened, wavered, and then followed and fell. So did Cain in an earlier era and Judas Iscariot in a later one. Lucifer’s methods are cunning; his victims, numerous.

Finally, I speak of the results of choice. All of our choices have consequences, some of which have little or nothing to do with our eternal salvation and others of which have everything to do with it.
No temptation, no pressure, no enticing can overcome us unless we allow such. If we make the wrong choice, we have no one to blame but ourselves.
The Apostle Paul has assured us, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”
We have all made incorrect choices. If we have not already corrected such choices, I assure you that there is a way to do so. The process is called repentance. I plead with you to correct your mistakes. Our Savior died to provide you and me that blessed gift. Although the path is not easy, the promise is real: “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.”(Isaiah 1:18) “And I, the Lord, remember them no more.” (D&C 58:42) Don’t put your eternal life at risk. If you have sinned, the sooner you begin to make your way back, the sooner you will find the sweet peace and joy that come with the miracle of forgiveness.

May we be filled with gratitude for the right of choice, accept the responsibility of choice, and ever be conscious of the results of choice.

Pride and the Priesthood

2011-02-28T10:57:00.000-08:00

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I have to say President Uchtdorf has been one of my favorites since he was put in as an apostle. I was delighted when he became the 2nd Counselor in the first presidency. I have always enjoyed his messages and feel he is just sitting in the same room as whomever he is speaking to having a one on one conversation with only them and not millions of people. In the beginning it was hard to get past his german accent but as time has gone I have come to listen more carefully which gives me that extra help. Maybe I should do the same with the american speakers? Hmmm.

Pride and the Priesthood

Often we mark the span of our lives by events that leave imprints on our minds and hearts. There are many such events in my life, one of which happened in 1989 when I heard a timeless sermon by President Ezra Taft Benson, “Beware of Pride.”
The promptings of the Holy Spirit have urged me to add my voice as another witness to President Benson’s message delivered 21 years ago.
Every mortal has at least a casual if not intimate relationship with the sin of pride. No one has avoided it; few overcome it. When I told my wife that this would be the topic of my talk, she smiled and said, “It is so good that you talk about things you know so much about.”

Pride is sinful, as President Benson so memorably taught, because it breeds hatred or hostility and places us in opposition to God and our fellowmen. At its core, pride is a sin of comparison, for though it usually begins with “Look how wonderful I am and what great things I have done,” it always seems to end with “Therefore, I am better than you.”
When our hearts are filled with pride, we commit a grave sin, for we violate the two great commandments. Instead of worshipping God and loving our neighbor, we reveal the real object of our worship and love—the image we see in the mirror.
Pride is the great sin of self-elevation. It is for so many a personal Rameumptom, a holy stand that justifies envy, greed, and vanity. In a sense, pride is the original sin, for before the foundations of this earth, pride felled Lucifer, a son of the morning “who was in authority in the presence of God.” If pride can corrupt one as capable and promising as this, should we not examine our own souls as well?

Pride is a deadly cancer. It is a gateway sin that leads to a host of other human weaknesses. In fact, it could be said that every other sin is, in essence, a manifestation of pride.
This sin has many faces. It leads some to revel in their own perceived self-worth, accomplishments, talents, wealth, or position. They count these blessings as evidence of being “chosen,” “superior,” or “more righteous” than others. This is the sin of “Thank God I am more special than you.” At its core is the desire to be admired or envied. It is the sin of self-glorification.
For others, pride turns to envy: they look bitterly at those who have better positions, more talents, or greater possessions than they do. They seek to hurt, diminish, and tear down others in a misguided and unworthy attempt at self-elevation. When those they envy stumble or suffer, they secretly cheer.

We are servants of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We are not given the priesthood so that we can take our bows and bask in praise. We are here to roll up our sleeves and go to work. We are enlisted in no ordinary task. We are called to prepare the world for the coming of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We seek not our own honor but give praise and glory to God. We know that the contribution we can make by ourselves is small; nevertheless, as we exercise the power of the priesthood in righteousness, God can cause a great and marvelous work to come forth through our efforts. We must learn, as Moses did, that “man is nothing” by himself but that “with God all things are possible.”
My beloved brethren, let us follow the example of our Savior and reach out to serve rather than seeking the praise and honor of men. It is my prayer that we will recognize and root out unrighteous pride in our hearts and that we will replace it with “righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, [and] meekness.” In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

http://lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/pride-and-the-priesthood?lang=eng

Struggling

2011-02-26T22:01:00.000-08:00

Just when I think I am strong I fall again. Isn't that what life is about the ups and downs? After I had the twins I felt there more downs than ups than after the first year passed I started seeing more ups and I was loving it. I could feel my feet slowly coming back underneath me again and I was standing up no longer curled on the floor. Just when I thought I was ready to walk again my life was taking away from me and down I went. There is a quote that Daniel and I heard a few years back and kinda took it as ours. It says "Life is what happens when you are busy making plans" It was so "us" because every time we started making plans for our new home and new friends and new town life would happen and we would be back on the road again moving elsewhere. I was ok with that though because I had my best friend by my side and our kids with us no matter where we went. Well that quote now makes me sad instead of makes me laugh. I am not sure I care for life right now. I do not like the hand I have been dealt. This trial is so not for me....... or is it? God knows me better than I know myself. God knows what I can handle. We are told we will be put through a refiners fire. We are also told in the scriptures the blessings come AFTER our trials. If I can believe and have faith in that for the past 13 years why can't I now? Well because my faith has been challenged more than it ever has. Do I believe in a loving Heavenly Father? Do I believe that Christ atoned for our sins? Do I believe in repentance and forgiveness? Do I believe I am never alone? Do I believe I am a daughter of God? Do I believe I am loved and cherished by not only my heavenly family but my earthly as well? Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes!!!! This weekend has been a hard one for me. I have been awaiting the final papers on my divorce and the kids are with Daniel. Those 2 things eat me up inside. Everything I love is not in my control. I am left here to think and ponder on why me? (which is not a good state to be in) Tonight I picked myself up and went to the adult session for stake conference and as always it was the push I needed to hold my head up get my feet back underneath me and keep walking my road. Its ok to feel alone, its ok to feel broken, its ok to miss Daniel, its ok to hurt. You know why??????? Because there is always always someone there who has walked this path before. There is always someone there who thinks we are the most wonderful wife,mother,daughter (husband,father,son). When you feel less than you are all you have to do is look to Him and he will help you.

He Teaches Us

2011-02-24T16:18:00.001-08:00

Elder Juan A. Uceda of the Seventy

I remember sitting in Stake Conference when I was a Senior in Highschool and Daniel was sitting with me. The scripture this talk is about (Mosiah 3:19 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”) was being spoken about and I didn't quite get it. I leaned over to Daniel and he explained it to me. I remember that moment so fresh in my mind as he helped me understand what the Brother was saying. There have been many moments in my life where Daniel has patiently explained things to me about the gospel. I am so grateful for those moments they are ones I will greatly miss and ones I have greatly treasured!

He Teaches Us to Put Off the Natural Man

My beloved brethren, our homes have to be places where the Holy Spirit may dwell. “Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness.” There is no place for the natural man in our homes. The natural man is inclined to “cover [his] sins, or to gratify [his] pride, [his] vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, [and when he acts] in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.”

We who hold the Aaronic or the Melchizedek Priesthood ought to always remember that “no power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile.”

Contention departs our homes and our lives as we strive to live these Christlike attributes. “And ye shall also forgive one another your trespasses; for verily I say unto you, he that forgiveth not his neighbor’s trespasses when he says that he repents, the same hath brought himself under condemnation.”

The Lord Jesus Christ, who is the Prince of Peace, teaches us how to establish peace in our homes.

He teaches us to be submissive

He teaches us to be meek

He teaches us to be humble

He teaches us to be patient

He teaches us to be full of love

He teaches us to put off the natural man

He teaches us to become “a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord.” And then we will reconcile ourselves to God, and we will become friends to God.

http://lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/he-teaches-us-to-put-off-the-natural-man?lang=eng&query=He+teaches+us+put+off+natural+man

WOW

2011-02-23T19:36:00.001-08:00

This past General Conference (in October) came and went for me as I was struggling tremdously with things that were going on in my life. I sat and watched all sessions but my mind was in a whole other place. A couple weeks ago I finally got to reading the Conference issue of the Ensign and was struck by how I pulled help and peace from every talk; even the priesthood session. I have picked my favorite ones though, the ones that have opened my eyes, heart, and mind and pertain so much to what I am going through at this time. These talks were written for me!!! Over the next few days I am gonna highlight the ones that meant the most. It is much easier for me to do it this way for my journaling as I can cut and paste :) I hope you enjoy them also and find something to take out of them to help give you strength and heal whatever part of you maybe hurting.
This one is from the Priesthood Session. It is by Elder Patrick Kearon of the Seventy.

"Come unto Me with Full Purpose of Heart, and I Shall Heal You."
(Even though he is speaking to the brethern of the church I can apply this to myself as a sister also.)
Tonight I would like to share a message of comfort and healing with any of you who feels alone or forsaken, has lost peace of mind or heart, or feels that you have thrown away your last chance. Complete healing and peace can be found at the feet of the Savior.

As I address you valiant young men, your fathers, teachers, leaders, and friends, I pay tribute to all who are diligently striving to become what the Lord needs and wants you to be. But I testify from my own experience as a boy and as a man that disregarding what we know to be right, whether through laziness or rebelliousness, always brings undesirable and spiritually damaging consequences.

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ and as bearers of the priesthood, we know the commandments and standards we have covenanted to uphold. When we choose another path from the one we know to be right, as taught by our parents and leaders and as confirmed to our own hearts by the Holy Ghost, it is like stepping onto the desert sand in flip-flops instead of shoes. We then seek to justify our lazy or rebellious behavior. We tell ourselves we’re not really doing anything that wrong, that it doesn’t really matter, and that nothing all that bad will result from letting go just a little from the iron rod. Perhaps we console ourselves with the thought that everyone else is doing it—or doing worse—and we won’t be negatively affected anyway. We somehow convince ourselves that we are the exception to the rule and therefore immune to the consequences of breaking it. We refuse, sometimes willfully, to be “exactly obedient” —as it says in Preach My Gospel—and we hold back a portion of our hearts from the Lord.
The scriptures teach us that “the Lord requireth the heart,” and we are commanded to love the Lord and serve Him with “all [our] heart.” The promise is that we “may stand blameless before God at the last day” and return to His presence.
When they laid down their weapons of rebellion, they qualified themselves for the Lord’s healing and peace, and so can we. The Savior assures, “If they harden not their hearts, and stiffen not their necks against me, they shall be converted, and I will heal them.” You and I can accept His invitation to “return and repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal [you].”
Contrast this miraculous healing with what happens “when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride [or] our vain ambition. … The heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved;” and we are left alone “to kick against the pricks … and to fight against God.”
Brethren, we find healing and relief only when we bring ourselves to the feet of the Great Physician, our Savior, Jesus Christ. We must lay down our weapons of rebellion (and we each know what they are). We must lay down our sin, vanity, and pride. We must give up our desires to follow the world and to be respected and lauded by the world. We must cease fighting against God and instead give our whole hearts to Him, holding nothing back. Then He can heal us. Then He can cleanse us from the venomous sting of sin.

“For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”
If we have strayed from the track, we can change, we can return, and we can recapture our joy and our inner peace. We will discover that returning to the track from which the land mines have been removed brings enormous relief.

No one can find peace in a minefield.

Our Savior is the Prince of Peace, the Great Healer, the only One who can truly cleanse us from the sting of sin and the poison of pride and change our rebellious hearts into converted, covenant hearts. His Atonement is infinite and embraces us all.
Not one of you has thrown away your last chance. You can change, you can come back, you can claim mercy. Come unto the only One who can heal, and you will find peace. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen

http://lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/come-unto-me-with-full-purpose-of-heart-and-i-shall-heal-you?lang=eng&query=Come+unto+me+with+full+purpose+heart

My sisters quest

2011-02-08T15:00:00.000-08:00

My sister Shauna found out about this little girl and has not been the same ever since. In support of my sister I am reposting this on my blog in case anyone can help. If nothing else keep these poor children in your prayers. I have to agree she is a cutie :)

Life with 5 is NEVER Boring!: My heart is breaking!: "I don't even know where to begin. I guess at the start. I was reading another blog and she mentioned an orphan in Eastern Europe with Dow..."

A Little Late

2011-02-02T08:52:00.001-08:00

I have done really good with posting in remembrance of Heather on Jan 31st every year. This year it was just too hard a day for me. With all that is going on with my life right now the loss of Daniel in our family really put me into a deep depression when it came to Heathers 8th anniversary of her death. I usually have Daniel to hold me and comfort me through the day and so obviously this year was very hard. It was nice to talk to my parents and to my other mom Sue though to help me out on this day.
Back in December I was up in Caliente helping reorganize Sues house and in the far back of one of the closets I found a friendship book I had given Heather 10 years ago. I took it home and read it and was surprised to find pages she had marked in the book. So in remembrance of my Heather I wanted to share these as a wonderful memory of our friendship together.
....No one ever told me what a wonderful thing friendship would be. I remember... lying in my bests friends garden feeling exquisitely happy just to be with her. We were discovering the world together, making up the rules for ourselves, creating our own little universe of tastes, preferances, and morals. And jokes. Remember laughing out of control about absolutely nothing? We did lots of that.
-Celia Brayfield-

A million billion words have been spoken about what friendship means but two good friends can be together without speaking a single word and know precisely what friendship means.
-Stuart and Linda Macfarlane-

Long friendships are like jewels, polished over time to become beautiful and enduring.
-Celia Brayfield-

I have had many friends that time and distance, change and loss have swept away. I hold their memory, flowers pressed betweeen the days- and breathing still the scent of distant summers. But some remain - deep rooted in my life and bright with living blossom. A constant comfort and a constant joy.
-Pam Brown-

There was nothing remote or mysterious here - only something private. The only secert was the ancient communication between two people.
-Eudora Welty-

Tucker turns 5

2011-01-28T08:18:00.001-08:00

Every time one of my kids has a birthday it is so strange to me that another year has gone by. I look back and try and figure where time has gone and how my babies are growing up so fast!!!!! Tucker is a big boy for his age and I get comments all the time on what a sweet boy he is. I am not sure where it comes from because I don't see it in my house LOL! In nursery a few years back they called him a gentle giant and honestly when I see him with friends I can understand the name. Tucker is my boy of all boys. He has gotten quite rowdy since living here with 3 boy cousins and finally having lots of friends that are boys to hang out with. He gives me the hardest time BUT when I am sad and hurting he will come and give me sweet hugs or make sure his sisters know to come give me hugs.
Tucker was sick on his birthday this year and I felt really bad. When tucker gets the stomach bug its really bad and he becomes almost lethargic. I have been dealing with this for 5 years now and it still scares me everytime that one of these times I am going to have to hospitalize him. Luckily he has been blessed and I know its because all the prayers on his behalf. Tucker being sick made for a miserable birthday which he "cancelled" for 2 days. I got him to open his presents on his real birthday and than 3 days later we had his birthday meals and cake and ice cream and watched Harry Potter (one of his favorites that I hardly let him watch but it was his birthday afterall) He got lots of presents but his top 3 were Sierras old ipod - from Sierra, transformers bumblebee helmet - from Ashley, and a box of mike and ikes - from Carson and Zack. Really????I spent $30 bucks on his gift that he was begging for and I didn't even make the top 3. Next time its $1 box of candy!!!!!
Box o' presents from Amy. He got lots of misc stuff and loved it all.

Like a true boy there is always some type of tuff man pose. This would be his Star Wars one I guess

Trick candles are just mean but they sure are fun to watch someone blow out. I think Tucker should get his birthday wish because he tried super duper hard

Perfection

2011-01-24T22:34:00.000-08:00

Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.
Author: Dr David M Burns

I really didn't go into 2011 making any New Years Resolutions. Everything seemed trivial to me as I felt the weight upon my shoulders as this divorce continues to press forward.

I started going to counseling right before the New Year and it was a little weird at first yet I had someone to listen to me who knew nothing of my situation and to try and help me find a way to live through it. The first time we met she talked about perfectionism. I didn't think she was that serious because to me my problems have stemmed from postpartum depression, Heather dying, moving every year, and lately my marriage falling apart. The holidays passed and I went to her again and we talked about some things and once again she brought up perfectionism and told me about some stuff she wanted me to read if I ever had some time. My last visit I went to really opened doors and windows for me. She reached inside and pulled my fears out and showed me the problem with my perfectionism mindset. As we talked it was hard for me to see myself as someone who strove for perfection. When I think of that person I think of one of my best friends from high school. LeeAnn may not have lived a perfect life but her room and school work told a whole differnt story. To me she was a perfectionist. Everything in the right place and taken care of to be perfect. There was never a smudge on a school assignment or a speck of dust in her room. I think of my mom who to this day looks lovely every time she steps out the door. She made sure all her church callings were taken well care of and beyond. She had breakfast on the table every morning and a full dinner on the table every night. The house was super clean as she mopped the floors by hand and cleaned the base boards regularly. She taught us how to read from the scriptures. We had family home evening twice a week. My dad always has had a lovely yard. He grows a wonderful garden. He takes time to help out those in need. He made sure we always had family prayer. He taught us the gospel and instilled in us a testimony of it. My brother and I are on exact opposite ends of the kids. Even though I don't know him that well I looked up to him as he served a mission for our church, served in the army for our country, and as he provides for his wife and kids, my beautiful 4 sisters well in my eyes they are perfect. I have always wanted to be like them. They had the boyfriends, the sense of style, the friends always around, they could dance, sing, cheer, you name it I knew my sisters could do it, their hair was always beautiful and makeup always perfect. I looked up to them in everything they did and I still do. I want to be just like them. All my friends are perfect in every way. I want to have what they have. I had a husband who loved me regardless of what was happening in my head. He had a strong testimony of the gospel. He wanted to follow Christ and have a family follow Christ. Daniel excelled at every job he has ever had.
(Right now you are probably thinking do you hear yourself talking????)

I know sounds crazy right? These words coming out of my mouth. To me it was never crazy though until my counselor looked at me and said are you serious? None of these people have ever done any wrong in their lives? I responded well of course they have some worse than others but you don't understand I don't see that when I think of them I see them as perfect and WAY better than I am. I think if only I could be like them............ I am chasing after things that may never be in Gods plan for me. I am at a different time in my life than they are. I am trying to stay afloat raising 5 kids and going through a divorce all the while one of my biggest concerns is what will people think of me? It doesn't matter that hundreds of people have gone through this and are going through this now, to myself I am a failure. I am not worthy of any blessings because my family is not perfect. I am not perfect. As long as I can remember I have been trying to be someone else. I have been taking the perfect pieces of everyone around me and trying to put them into myself and there isn't room so I crack and fall apart. I always thought when told to do something do it right that second. Perfect it right than and keep it perfect till something changes or you die. I will not be worthy to be in Gods light if I am not perfect in every way shape and form.

Is perfectionism bad? Of course not as long as it is used in the right way. I am trying to be perfect in every aspect of my life and all at one time. That is not good. It is good to take it line upon line precept upon precept.

When I came home from the hospital with Sierra Thanksgiving was 2 days away. It was just my family, my mom, and my sisters family. It was at my sisters house yet I felt I needed to prepare food. My mom kept trying to tell me to sit down and I would say no I am a mom now and I can take care of my baby and prepare food. Who cares that I was in pain at the time. Fast forward to after having the twins and we came home. I am not sure if it was the first or second night but instead of waking my mom or Daniel up I took care of the babies all night long by myself. In my head I think I am a mom to twins now and I have to take care of them this is MY job. Yep you know it I paid for it tremendously the following day. I have always felt my job was to be a mother. Daniels job was to provide for the family. I pushed him away and acted as though I didn't need him I could handle it all. I always thought I was doing him a favor, I never looked at it as what I was taking away from him never looked at it as if I was saying to him "I don't need you" I see all that now. I realize what I have done to those around me as I have in my striving for perfection have let them go or broke them down all the time thinking I was doing them a favor when really if I would have just opened up even a tiny bit they could have helped me out and we could have both grown.

I come now to my fear which I never knew I had. Whenever I was asked or thought about it I would reply I am scared of death. I have had many loved ones die I was by Heathers bedside as she took her last breath. It wasn't scary it wasn't frightening. I knew the happiness on the other side and even though some were taken before I would have wanted them to be I knew that there was a reason. You want to know my real fear? Being alone. I came to this realization as she walked me down a path of than whats? At the end I was in full blown tears as I said I would be alone. I have never been alone. Growing up I hated silence it was terrifying to me. I grew up with 5 siblings. When I was the last one at home it was strange and scary. I clung to Daniel and Heather throughout my high school life. I left my home and married Daniel. I had a great family and the 2 best friends any one could ever ask for. 8 years ago that changed when Heather died and 3 months ago that changed even more drastically when Daniel asked for a divorce. I am completely terrified my kids will leave me if I am not perfect for them. Where will I be then? Alone...... my biggest fear. Its the physical aloness I am scared of. I know my Heavenly Father will always be there for me.
I can not be completely perfect I understand that now. I don't even have to be completely perfect when I stand before my Savior. I do though have to have done my best. My best not the best of those around me. I get it I think and hope to be able to slowly understand and put into place that I truly am worth loving and worth being around. I will try to remember who I am inside. I will try to love me for me.

New Year's: Look Not behind Thee

2011-01-14T14:15:00.000-08:00

Thanks Lemira for posting this so I could still it. I some how missed it. I need this so much right now!!!!! Trust in God he will lead you.

Basketball has started

2011-01-14T07:53:00.000-08:00

Courtney decided to give basketball a try this year. She has never played before and is actually liking it and I think with some practice she could be good. She is not a big sports person but so far she gives this a thumbs up. The teams only had one practice before their first game which was a tad strange but whatever. Courtney needs to work on dribbling when she has the ball she likes to travel too much LOL!!! If you look in the second picture there is a small girl that Courtney guarded the whole time. I think it was quite unfair for the coaches to put them against each other. We got a laugh out of seeing the huge size differnce.

From the past

2010-12-31T13:24:00.000-08:00

I received a letter a few days ago from my dad. He had found something I had written for him back in 1995. He thought it was for school but I will correct him when I say it was for his birthday that year. I am not sure where he got this copy because the original one was framed and had my hand prints reaching towards each other. I remember giving it to him and he hung it on his office wall at the youth center. I read this to my kids the other night and cried as I did so. I probably should have taken the time to read it alone first, but honestly I still would have bawled. LOL. So many times these past 2 months I have thought how I would rather go back to those high school days when Daniel broke my heart than deal with this now. That was so trivial than AND we could always fix it. That pain I would welcome any day compared to this horrible pain I feel daily. The pain in high school from friends being hurtful and guys breaking your heart, the hard times with school work and after school activities, friends and grandparents dying, and for me being the last one at home feeling rather lonely at times; brought me to write this. I didn't have any money and I wanted my dad to know that even through everything I know my Heavenly Father will always be there for me. How did I know that? Well my earthly father taught it to me and bore testimony of it time and again. My dad has been a strength to me he has been an example and help through my trials and hard times. I know I will be ok because my dad believes in me.
Take my Hand
In the pre existence we lived in a place so glorious and bright. There we stayed with our friends and family. All of the sudden a new thing was introduced to us called life. One by one everyone was leaving. First my parents than the rest of my family. They left me all alone.I figured it would never be my time to go. A voice so tender and loving said, "My dear sweet child take my hand." He than started to explain the process that I would be going through. He spoke of the trials and the tribulations. He told me of the heartache, pain, and suffering I would endure. It sounded so difficult. I than asked Him how I could go through it all by myself? Once again he replied, "there are others that love and care about you. They will be there for you to turn to. Now my child I can't tell you anymore about your life. You will forget most of what I have already told you. Please remember to follow me an remember your pure sweet innocence. Take my hand one last time and never ever forget I love you. Goodbye my child I will be waiting for you to return to my presence."
This thing called life is so strange and difficult. Once again everyone around me started leaving. Some I could see when I wanted others though I wouldn't see for a long time. My family started breaking up going their own separate ways. Sometimes I would look and find myself all alone. It seemed no one understood me or how I looked at life. No one listens to my hopes and dreams. I would try to follow the path of righteousness but sometimes I would slip and fall. But like I was promised there were those that loved and cared for me. Hands reached for me and pulled me in. I now think of my life so far. The happy and sad times. The times my heart was broken and the times it was put back together. So many different emotions started coming to me, tears filled my eyes and than started to overflow. So many times I thought I had mastered life but than I would turn around and fail. All of the sudden I was overwhelmed with such warmth and comfort, now if I really listen once again I can hear that soft, tender, loving voice saying, "come to me my child and once again please take My hand."

To all those reading this you have been my help on this earth you have helped me when I have struggled. Thank you so much for loving and caring for me. I love you!!! Rachel

Darryl Worley, Sounds Like Life To Me - OFFICIAL VIDEO

2010-12-30T19:58:00.000-08:00

Love love love this song. Things get hard and not always the way we might want it to go but its life. Suck it up and remember whats really important.

Joy real Joy

2010-12-23T18:03:00.001-08:00

When was the last time you felt real joy? For me it was yesterday. I know it seems strange because in the midst of my divorce, which is the hardest and worst thing I have ever gone through, I was able to walk through the doors of the temple and find that joy. Yesterday was differnt than the past few times I have gone. Yesterday I was in serious need of peace and help in my life. It has been an incredibly hard week. Prayers, scripture study, and a blessing helped me breathe and get through each minute but what I really needed to do was fast and give my all to my Savior in His house. I entered downtrodden and feeling I was failing and not worth much. What transpired within those hallowed walls will be an experience that I will hold dear and will get me through the dark days, weeks, months, and years ahead. I left the first session having so much joy that I wanted to skip seriously skip which is weird but that is the feeling I had. I was floating. I went back through for another session and the joy and understanding of the endowment intensified. I was so glad to be there in my Saviors house. After the second session I took the time to sit in the Celestial room. I found a seat where I could look right at the picture of my Savior.

Instead of bowing my head to pray as I usually do I looked right at Him and was able to carry on a conversation (in my head and heart)with my Heavenly Father and my Savior. I found peace and encouragement as I remembered that I am a Daughter of God. I am worth everything good in this life. I can not do anything to change the situation I am in. This is my trial. For some reason this is what I need to overcome BUT not on my own, NEVER on my own. I have laid my burdens before my Savior I am using His atonement to heal. He is the one who will get me through this. The price has been paid and every physical pain I feel now was hundreds of times greater for my Savior. I will be healed I will come through this trial on the other side. I will find happiness again and so will my children. I have turned my worries about Daniel over to the only one who can help him and that is our Savior. He feels my pain he knows my love and worries for Daniel. He will watch him and be there for him when Daniel is ready to return to His arms. Not only was I able to feel my Heavenly Father and Christs love for me I was able to feel and hear my loved ones who are on the other side of the veil. I know without a doubt they are helping to hold me up and they are my guardian angels through this process. My grandparents and Heather were there. To feel them and hear them did not make me cry but instead I felt so much joy and happiness. I left the Celestial room reluctantly as I really wanted to curl up and go to sleep and stay safe. I left being assured there was work to be done and I would NEVER be alone.
I than went and helped in the sealing room. I was so glad I chose to do sealings. It has been a long time since I have been in the room and was worried because of what I am going through but to be a proxy for those who have passed on and to help seal husband and wife and daughters to their parents I was reminded of my own eternal covenants I have made in my eternal marriage. The spirit was strong my testimony stregthened of eternal families and the truthfulness of the church. I left the temple feeling peaceful truly peaceful and truly joyful. Things will be ok as long as I keep my Savior by my side I know and testify of these things. I pray that each of you can find the joy you seek this season turn to your Savior thats where it will always be. Love you all Merry Christmas!!!!

The Balm of Gilead

2010-12-10T06:56:00.000-08:00

My sister sent me this wonderful book that had helped her out when she was going through trials on her own. It is amazing. It has opened my eyes and given me a outlook I hadn't thought of. I have found peace in its pages and wanted to share passages that have helped me.

"At times when our lives seem to be in order and we are striving to live as Heavenly Father wants us to live, adversity may strike. We may expect adversity to enter our lives when we are living unworthily. Yet the adversity that tests our faith in God when we are striving to live worthily seems to be the hardest of all."

President Ezra Taft Benson said, " Be warned that some of the greatest battles you will face will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul."

Elder Bruce R. McConkie wrote: "It is not, never has been, and never will be the design and purpose of the Lord-however much we seek him in prayer- to answer all our problems and concerns without struggle and effort on our part. This mortality is a probationary estate..... We are being tested to see how we respond in Various situations; how we will decide issues; what course we will pursue while we are here walking, not by sight, but by faith."

A person does not easily decieve his own conscience. Deep within our hearts we generally know when we have paid the price, when we have done the best our personal resources and abilities would have allowed us to do at the moment, regardeless of the outcome of of our effort or the way it may be viewed by others. It is at these times that we know real peace, even though the product of our effort may not be all that we would have hoped it to be.

"The gospel of Jesus Christ is not insurance against pain. It is resource in event of pain, and when that pain comes.... rejoice that you have resource to deal with your pain."

Doing my best is all that matters, and only I and the Lord can determine what my best is.

Life is not about stillness. To grow is to change. Righteousness cannot even exist in a vacuum. To be righteous is to face choices and conflict. To have joy is to know sorrow. Peace is not about the storm that is absent. Peace is about the storm that is weathered.

If the Lord healed all sickness and prevented every tragedy, we would not have the great miracles that occur when we lose ourselves in the service of others.

Through all the pages it has reaffirmed to me the promise we are given in the scriptures which is After the trial of your faith..... Come the blessings. I know this to be true and testify of the peace only our Savior can provide. Drop your burdens at His feet and let Him heal you. This is my wish and gift for all my loved ones this Holiday season. Love you all, Rachel

Happy post :)

2010-12-01T11:54:00.001-08:00

My niece Savannah was so worried about Ashley and Amy not having any toys with our move to my sisters house that she had to send some dressups and 2 babies. Those who know my niece would understand the sacrifice it was for her to send 2 babies. My girls have been enjoying the stuff she sent and Ash always has one of the dressups on.
This is Ash in her Dora Ballerina dressup

Ash being a cheerleader just like her cousin Austyn

Ashley and her baby

Amy and her baby

Why did it come to this?????

2010-11-18T10:25:00.000-08:00

My heart breaks every day as I continue to remind myself this is real and not only is it real it is happening to me! I can't lie there are many times through the past 13 years that I have looked at other couples and thought they would be better off divorced. I never thought that of Daniel and I though. We have always been connected. 17 years ago when I first saw Daniel in his cowboy hat and boots, jeans and a tshirt my heart skipped a beat. I was in 8th grade and he was a sophomore. I just knew that he was the one for me. No other guy could ever compare to Daniel. He stole my heart right there on the spot. I would do whatever it took to get this guy to notice me and eventually marry me. We had very hard times as we both didn't ever make the right choices all the time but we clung to each other knowing that this was what we both wanted and always would. Nothing seemed impossible. We pushed through every road block and stayed together. We got engaged halfway through my Senior year. The sky was the limit we soared and were so in love. We married 3 months after I graduated and could never be happier. It was an adjustment to married life with both of us being so young and being far away from both our parents but we stayed strong and learned to rely on each other as we grew. We struggled here and there like any couple will but as always we pushed through and survived because we loved each other so much and loved our growing family. We were sealed in the temple and made our little family an eternal family. Life couldn't be better!!!!!
Fast forward to 2007 when we found out we were expecting twins! Not only did I start struggling with the knowledge of being pregnant again when we weren't expecting or wanting anymore kids but to also find out they were twins! I think that is when I started feeling things going downhill. I had a very hard pregnancy (for me) and Daniel was traveling a lot with work - something he had never done before - and our magical world started to fall apart. We still clung to each other hoping and praying to get through it. Here we are now 3 years later and Daniel has decided he can't do it anymore. My heart broke when he spoke those words to me. Never in my whole life did I ever think I would get divorced that was never anything I thought about or Daniel and I discussed. We would always be together thick or thin. We would fight to keep our marriage together when everyone from our past told us it would never work. Love can move mountains!!!! Daniel holds my heart and always will. I do not feel hate or anger towards him only at the situation. I am trying to understand him and his need to walk away and it is hard yet I know I can't make him do what he doesn't want to. I would give up every earthly thing I have to have Daniel back in my life. My children have told me numerous times in the past couple weeks they would give up everything (even Sierra and Courtney's cell phones!!!!!) to have their daddy back living with us and us being a family again. Will the day ever come I will give up on Daniel. No I don't see it. I still believe as strongly now as I did 17 years ago that he is the one for me and our kids are meant for our family. This knowledge has been solidified to me in many many spiritual experiences. The kids and I continue to fast and pray and hope for our one treasured possession and greatest wish. Our faith does not waver the kids and I stay strong in our beliefs and knowledge that God walks with us and strengthens us along the way. In our Heavenly Father we find peace. In Jesus atonement we find comfort. In the scriptures we find hope. In prayers we find answers. In the temple I find guidance, In the Holy Ghost we find warmth, and in our family and friends we find love and strength when we find we can't go on anymore. We will keep pushing on and staying strong there is no other option for us. The church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true, the scriptures are true we all testify of this and know without a doubt we will be ok and survive this trial and tribulation in our lives. We hope with all our beings we find Daniel along the way or on the other side. Whatever it may be we are always here.

Love to all who continue to support us in this trial,
Rachel, Sierra, Courtney, Tucker, Ashley, and Amy

In Mexico......

2010-11-10T14:52:00.001-08:00

This was cool at one of the malls in Mexico. There were these balls that you would climb in and they would than blow them up which was extremely loud so the kids had to plug their ears. After you were all sealed in they would push you into a pool so you could run around (or at least try to). It was a little hot inside but Courtney Tucker and Sierra still had a good time. The malls in Mexico always have cool and differnt things.

Halloween 2010

2010-10-31T17:00:00.000-07:00

This year was a little differnt for me and the kids. We didn't get to decorate our house and than half way through the month the kids and I moved back to the states to live with my sister and her family. Things are way more hectic in her house with highschoolers and homecoming. Of course adding my family to hers we doubled the number of people in her house. That is a whole nother story that I am not ready yet to tell.
Back to Halloween. We went to a pumpkin patch and got some free pumpkins. Sierra was a little bummed about the sizes but I told her they were free so deal with it :) We came home to carve them and Tucker barely got his picture drawn on for me to cut before he ran out the door to play. Amy charged right after him so later her Uncle had to help her out and of course it had to be as near perfect as possible. Ashleys on the other hand I let her imagination and creative juices flow. Sierras turned out the way she wanted it to and Courtney worked so hard on stenciling a owl on her pumpkin and than half way through it caved in. She was a bit frustrated to say the least.

Time for trick or treating. Sierra and I went with a bee and ladybug, Tucker and Courtney were Batman and Robin, and the twins were supposed to be witches but Ashley wouldn't call herself that. She was a scary princess!!

FHE Decorating cookies

2010-10-26T08:30:00.001-07:00

Last night for Family Home Evening we decorated sugar cookies. Shannon decided to pick up some kits this year instead of making her own because she has been so busy. They were fun to make but tasted horrible so next time busy or not we are gonna do homemade. My dad made it down yesterday. Its nice to have him here for a few days and than he and my mom will go back home. Austyn was quite dissapointed that her mom broke tradition and didn't do their usual Halloween FHE you can tell by the look on her face she was terribly affected. This may just haunt her for the rest of her life. LOL!

As for Ty and Mitch they decided to play the xbox (as usual) instead of joining us. They missed out for sure!

one year older and wiser too

2010-10-18T07:24:00.000-07:00

Another birthday has come and gone. Courtneys favorite animal at the moment is owls. She got lots of owl stuff for her bday along with some tinkerbell stuff and candy candy candy :) I think she enjoyed it all.

Making pizza for dinner

Present time

Ashley giving Courtney her present. This is when Ashley says here Courtney its books! LOL maybe I shouldn't have told Ashley what the present was.

She tried but couldn't blow out all 10 candles! I hope she wasn't wishing for anything to important. :)

Museum

2010-10-03T07:59:00.000-07:00

This Museum is housed inside the old penitintary. No pictures were allowed inside to which I was greatly dissapointed. It is a very cool museum so if any of you come visit me I will totally take you there. Even though we couldn't understand the writings the displays were awesome and the building even cooler. We were all upset we weren't allowed to see the whole penitintary. They did let us however go downstairs and see a few of the cells for the really bad people. They were completely pitch black and they had put some flourscent lights in so you could see what the looked like. I have always thought those people who are put in isolation have to go completely crazy. The outside as you can see is beautiful. Everyone goes there to take pictures. As we were arriving their were wedding pictures being taken and as we were leaving there were graduation pictures being taken. I am not sure if it bodes well for either situation to have a old jail behind you. Almost like a future sign of what will happen. LOL!

Going for a Sunday Drive

2010-09-27T06:15:00.000-07:00

With sick kids yesterday we didn't go to church but by the afternoon when kids were all going crazy and the twins hadn't napped very well we decided on a drive. I remembered my camera this time. I am always seeing thigs that surprise me and wish I had a camera. This time was not any differnt here is some of what we saw as we drove around. I had to laugh as we came to this road block. Obviously the road isn't quite finished on the other side so huge boulders were put on the road. One more thing we can learn, stop paying for road blocks when you can just roll these off the mountains!

These houses are what I expected of Mexico so ours was a surprise to me. I feel bad thinking of the size of these houses (about 700sq ft) and the amount of people living in them.

Here is a picture of a workout spot where you can stop during your walk and do stretches or whatever.

I wanted to show the graffiti on the school. This is very typical. I am surprised with how much of the schools are covered in graffiti. The kids school is not because it is private so it makes me feel a lot better.

A typical park

It doesn't matter what the building is it seems graffiti is covering it. I wish they would at least draw pretty pictures instead of this trash. Maybe some flowers or something. LOL!!!

I wanted you to see the garbage cans. Where you are asking???? Well see the wire basket on a pole with a branch in it? That would bethe garbage cans. They are all over. It either looks like this or a rectangle. I don't know who wants to clean the garbage out of these but I get that they are trying to keep garbage off the roads. Sometimes it works and sometimes not.

There are quite a few of these statues around the downtown area. I wish I could tell you who they are of but I have no clue.

A cool clock right by one of the 3 starbucks here. Good thing I am not a starbucks addict or I would be going crazy.

Kids playing. See how sick my Ash looks :(

Public transportation. Try to avoid these as much as you can. Either riding in them or following them. Neither one is a good experience.

The road we turn on to our house. I wanted you to see how beautiful and green the mountains are. Thanks to the abundance of rain that we recieved in the past 3 months which is very very very unusual!

Hope you enjoyed your tour :)

Misc Pictures

2010-09-23T08:07:00.000-07:00

At the grocery store here they have rides in the front. I always have to have change on me because that is what keeps my kids occupied while I check out.

These next few pictures are at the restraunt inside Liverpool (Liverpool is like a Macys) I never let Ashley out of the house in her princess dress but today the fight was just not worth it. They never want to wear their nice shoes either this is why I NEVER wanted to buy crocks!!!!

Aren't the kids hotdos too cute? The food was very yummy, even though I had to trade Daniel lunches because he didn't like his.

The kids wanted a picture with the statue not sure why though. BTW I was informed that the bathrooms at this restraunt were N I C E!!! Yep that is how a lot of conversations go here in Mexico. We talk a lot about the bathrooms everywhere we go. LOL

Courtneys 2 turtles that she has hated since the 2nd day. She thought she could play with them. HA too bad for her they will be around until we move at least. The one in her hand is named the Grumpy old troll who lives under the bridge because thats where he spends his time. As for the other one she still hasn't named it. That shows you how much she likes them.

Here is butterscotch the hamster who is alot more vicious than Sierras first hamster 3 years ago. This one bites a lot and still doesn't really like us. It must be the mexican genes. HA

The last few pictures are at the Del Carmen Chapel this grandiose chapel of Nuestra Señora del Carmen, an ancient and important building here is a witness to the history and dreams of the people that lived here. It was closed when we went so no history was witnessed to us but it sure was pretty on the outside.

Birthdays in Mexico

2010-09-14T15:38:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday we were invited to a birthday party. Was it for someone we knew? Nope. Did the hostess invite us? Nope. We were invited by one of my friends who was invited. Got that? I felt really bad but she assured me that is the way things are done here. Whether you are invited by the hostess/host or someone going you are welcome. I was still nervous but since it was something to do with the kids and would give them some much needed playtime with other kids I said ok. It ended up being a lot of fun. The birthday girls parents were super nice and welcoming to us. I met the grandpa and some other people. It was fun to see how Mexican birthdays are done. The friend that invited us ended up running home and grabbing her face paint to paint the kids faces. She does everything I am getting envious of all her tricks up her sleeve.

Most kid parties are held at little park places that are owned by an older couple. There are lots of tables and chairs, swingsets, trampoline, bounce houses, play houses, etc. They served sonoran hot dogs which were AMAZING!!!!! and their version of nachos which were AMAZING!!!!! We missed the cake because Amy decided to pee her pants instead of tell me she needed to go potty. Dangit!

Tucker and his friend Julian

Ash and Amy loved the teeter totter

Courtney though it was funny that the Dora was white like us and not brown like a Mexican. So funny that she had to tell everyone I was just a little embarrassed when she pointed it out to the hostess. This is a bank and they were the centerpieces on every table. We got to take one home with us which we are using as our family good deeds and obedience bank. Whenever the kids obey or are good they get to put money in and when it is full we will use the money to do something fun.

Oh yeah bring on the pinatas!!!!! They really know how to do pinatas here they take forever to break which they need to because instead of everyone getting one hit you get to keep swinging the stick until the pinata song is over than you pass it to the next person.

If you look at the peoples faces in the background you will see them laughing very hard that is because when the stick was given to Ashley she went crazy loco as she charged Dora and started whacking it. It was soooooo funny.

Amy on the other hand didn't really want to do it so her sister had to coax her to get at least one hit in.

Courtney was the lucky one she broke it and kids went crazy! She was like the 15th one, that tells you how strong the pinata was.

It was such a fun night and I totally look forward to the next party whenever it comes along.

Wow

2010-09-05T13:11:00.000-07:00

Daniel uploaded all his pictures from his phone on to the computer finally. Its crazy to see how much the kids have grown and changed in 1 1/2 years. Yep thats how long some of these have been stuck inside the camera.
Daniel and I at the FSU game a year ago.

Some cool yet strange store I believe in one of the cities daniel has gone for work.

Tucker on his one and only father son campout.

Super cute pic of Sierra from over a year ago.

This was on our flight back home after our cruise. We thought it was funny that the box says rush live fish yet we were sitting on the tarmac for awhile and the guy kept tossing this box all around. Pretty sure the fish were dead before we reached Vegas.

This is a dessert I got when Daniel and I went out to eat for his bday 2 years ago. It was beautiful and so amazing! I always wanted to be a chef/baker so this kind of stuff intrigues me.

Finally pictures got uploaded from our Disneyland trip back when Tucker turnes 3 and the twins 1. I have been waiting for these pictures. The kids had a total blast eating a fancy lunch at Ariels Grotto and meeting all the princesses. Belle was the sweetest one and stayed and talked with the kids. I even got a picture since she is my favorite princess!!!!

Strangely there were a lot of pictures when Daniel was on buiness trips and "working all the time" yet I saw pictures of a major league baseball game, Kings basketball game, a fight, beautiful ocean, cool cities, etc. Hmmmmm was he really working???

Las Sauceda

2010-08-24T10:50:00.000-07:00

This is a really cool kids museum here. The people call it the bubble museum. My friend Diana took the kids and I a few weeks back. We can't wait to go back and take Daniel because it was sooooo much fun. The museum is inside a huge park. It was to hot to walk around but there are go carts for kids and adults, swimming pools, about 6 differnt playgrounds, lots of grass and picnic areas, miniture golf and the museum. You pay 5 pesoes (50 cents) per car just to enter and than everything is priced seperatly. She paid for the musuem because she was being stubborn lol but I think it was about $20 for myself and the 5 kids which is a steal when I think of the $8 per person we paid back in Vegas. I am bummed that none of these places have memberships though because it would make it a lot easier on me. Anyways there was so much to do inside it kept the kids busy and happy for a few hours.

This was outside at one of the parks we saw. I made the two older girls climb up to the top even though it was sooooooo hot. I remember one of these cool spaceshuttle slides at a park when I was a kid and so I had to get a pic of them inside.

This is a Walmart store. They give you pesoes when you walk in and than you can buy whatever you want with it. The problem is that the twins didn't understand that so there were big fits being thrown when they wouldn't let them leave the store with the stuff. LOL

Courtney was trying out the obstacle course for those in wheelchairs. She said it was harder than she thought it would be.

Sierra thought the bed of nails was cool. It really only hurt on her elbows. I tried it out also and thought the same thing.

How a tornado is formed. If only they were all this small!

This is the little kids play area. I had a stupid moment where I couldn't understand why they only had a Mexico map and not the US map laid out? Duh!!!! Luckily I realized before I asked someone. There are many moments where I have forgotten I was in Mexico believe it or not.

To young to say my age

2010-08-19T18:27:00.000-07:00

Last week was my birthday. I still don't feel old yet. Friends and family of mine complain at their bdays every year. I love mine I don't feel any older and still feel like a 14 year old. Of course my body can't jump and run like one anymore. LOL! I awoke to See's chocolates on the counter for my bday breakfast. They probably weren't meant for breakfast but whatever it was my birthday! Luckily Daniel had remembered how I dislike the chocolate here so he picked up a box for me while in NV. Oh so very yummy!!!!!! Daniel than came home at lunch and brought fresh tortillas which are the best thing ever down here and he made quesadillas with homemade guacamole.

Than I got to open my presents which after all that food was funny to see exercise dvds and exercise clothes and shoes, (to Daniels credit though I had been asking for new ones) Tucker wanted to get me new dvds because he is tired of watching me do the other ones I have. Anyways I also got a skirt and shirt for church, and a pair of jeans and a couple shirts. Not everything fit but hey that's what the exercise dvds are for right???? Now if I can just keep up with the motivation to do it....... that's another post though. The older girls made me my favorite cake and than we got the most decent chocolate ice cream they have down here. Daniel had to head back to work and I wanted to go out but kids were not being that good so I just put on music and made the best out of it. (That is where the previous post comes into play) That night we went out to dinner with 2 other families. There are 2 girls that I met down here that are in our ward and they speak English so I quickly became friends with them. One of them is only here during summers because her and her husband teach school in another town. They come here to visit family during the summer. I am super sad because she left the following day but at least we got to have fun while she was here. The other one is the Bishops wife. Like most bishops he is a busy man so he couldn't make my bday dinner.

Both Diana and Saymy were shocked when I told them I had no plans for my birthday they said "oh no we will do something!" So we all went out to dinner. Here in Mexico families eat a large lunch at 2:00 pm than have a light dinner at 9:00. Well since Daniel was working during the day they said we could compromise on a time. We ate at 7:00. I made sure the twins took a late nap so they wouldn't be horrible. By the time we got to the restaurant it was more like 8:00. We finally got back home at 11:00 and much to my shock the kids behaved well. Of course I totally threatened them with their lives. Ha! We ate at El Centerno (The Center) it was yummy yummy mexican food. They even had the waiter bring out a bday dessert and they put on the Mexican bday song and my friends all sang along while I enjoyed every minute.

I have to put this picture on because it shows you what Courtney thought of my dessert. Just look at her face she had just taken a bite. LOL.

Ashley Amy Tucker and Victor (Dianas son) playing in the fountain. This helped a lot keeping them entertained.

I love them

2010-08-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

This is what you do when you are bored; turn the music on, dance, be goofy, and take lots of pictures. These are my beautiful children and I love them!!!!!!

13th Anniversary

2010-08-10T12:42:00.001-07:00

Daniel took me out to the Grill Station for our anniversary. It has semi american food and walls and a ceiling! The food was o.k. nothing special but it was nice to be out with him. FIrst time we have been able to go out since being here. We left S in charge for awhile. At the end of our dinner they gave t-shirts because its their first anniversary. We thought it was pretty cool since we were celebrating our anniversary also. I can't believe it has been 13 years. Some days it seems we have always been married and other days it seems like we are back at square one getting to know each other again. I am so thankful that through all the bad and rough times he has chosen to stick it out with me and be my husband. He will always be my first and only love.

Swim Class

2010-08-04T17:17:00.000-07:00

One session of swim class over. Kids have been loving it. Amy not as much as the other two but she deals with it. She is so funny to watch because whenever the teacher tries to show her how to put her face underwater she turns her head as soon as his head goes under, so when he comes back up he has to get her attention again. Now I HATE when she does this to me but I can laugh when someone else is in my place. Tucker got moved up a class because he is learning so well. He can now jump in off the side and swim. Ashley is swimming underwater and picking up rings from the bottom. She LOVES her teacher and will do whatever he asks of her. I wonder if he babysits? LOL!!! If anyone knows how to upload video I would love to post some on here it just won't work for me, so all you get is pictures.

Last Saturday

2010-07-31T08:38:00.001-07:00

This is where we ventured to last Saturday

This is San Carlos one of the 3 beach towns close to us. We decided we liked the town better than the town at Kino but we like the beach at Kino better than San Carlos.

As you can see in the last picture the beach is very rocky. Makes it hard for the kids to build sandcastles! Hard and Hot on the bare feet as well. Ashley and Amy have watched Dora's pirate adventure one to many times because everytime they see an island they think it belongs to the Pirate Piggies!

This is the restraunt we ate at. Charleys Rock. Amazing food and views! They charge American prices though which was a shock. Most expensive place we have eaten since being in Mexico.

Fish pond inside the restraunt which kept my little ones entertained.

If I moved to San Carlos I would totally buy this house. Its for sale any takers out there????

This is what a 4 star hotel looks like here in Mexico on the beach!

Daniel finally got me out from behind the camera. Tucker is a crazy kid hopefully he isn;t still doing this same crazy face in his Senior pictures!!!!

Finally Rain

2010-07-26T20:15:00.000-07:00

I was told a week ago it doesn't rain here than the next day the rain started! We have at least one good storm every afternoon/evening. The roads here are horrible. There is not a drainage system so the roads flood very quickly and easily. It is weird to see water running one way on oneside of the street and the exact opposite way on the other side. Not quite understanding that one! Tonight I was out and was told I had to at least wait a few hours before going home because Morelos (the street we live off of) was flooded and I wouldn't be able to drive through it. Luckily I was going to Costco so we spent the evening wandering and eating and filling up the shopping cart. These pictures are actually from the first rainstorm a week ago. I love the rain but I think my kids loved it more. I was content to just sit and watch them.

Parque Infantil Sonora

2010-07-20T15:13:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday one of the girls from Daniels work invited the kids and I to go to Herimosillo's idea of a theme park. It was interesting to the say the least. Really was like a small fair. It was clean though which was nice. Not really for Sierra since she is older. There were only 3-4 rides she could ride on. Court had a little more luck but really it was for kids around 5 yrs old. Tucker thought it was the coolest thing ever!!!!

On the train ride we saw fishes, dinosaurs, went through a tunnel....

and were even completley shocked to see Grandpa Harper was working there!!!!

The twins were even able to go on a ride. LOL

This was the cool roller coaster. Probably the best ride there.

There was an indoor play area for the babies. It had a bunch of things to climb on. There was a horse, car, and the above ride also. Perfect for the little ones.

What park isn't complete with bumper cars???

This one made me laugh the most. I loved the boat ride as a kid but this one only Tucker and his little friend could go on. Anyways the funny thing was that the guy actually rocked it back and forth!

Another of my favorite rides. Court loved this one. Poor Sierra couldn't go on it. It really was a bummer day for Sierra.

Jeep ride only for Tucker and his friend. Gotta love the awesome cave they drive through.

This was the only ride our whole family could go on. The carousal.

This was the first ride they went on. The fishes seem kinda scary looking for little kids

Even though it was not as "cool" as the older kids wanted it to be I thought it wasn't bad. Putting it into ameican money we paid 50 cents per each kid to get in and than 6 dollars for the 3 older kids unlimited ride wrist band. We bought a few tickets for the twins and I which maybe equaled out to 2 dollars. Pretty cheap!

Bell Hill

2010-07-17T06:54:00.001-07:00

This is a must see place here in Herimosillo. Not sure why they call it Bell Hill it is just a hill with towers on the top. It is very cool because you can see the whole city from up here. I am sure it would be even cooler at night but since this is where the kids go to drink and make out I am sure I would feel a little unwanted! If you have ever been to any Mexican city you will notice that they are all basically the same layout. Their is a huge Catholic Catherdral in the middle of town and than it seems as though the town is built around it. Since Herimosillo is the capitol of Sonora there is also the government building across from the catherdral.

This would be something that gave me shivers. A rodent the size of a squirrel but looked like a rat. The thing runs fast!! All I could get was its tail end as it dissapeared into its hole.

We went to check out the view from over here but what you can't see is Sierra holding her nose. Why you ask??? Well we determined it was the pee spot. Oh my goodness the smell was so bad. It really must be where everyone pees at. Good thing you could only smell it when standing right in front!

This mountain says JesuCristo Viene which translates to Jesus Christ Lives. I wish we had this written more on our mountains back home instead of the letters depicting the city!

The towers at the peak.

Yep graffiti everywhere. So sad!!!

There is something so moving about this picture to me. Not sure why the cross was placed here but whenever I see a cross I don't think of Jesus dying but of Him being ressurected which feels my soul with hope and peace.

Here are the city pictures. My computer isn't working right so I couldn't zoom in. I really wanted you to see the cathedral and government building. Oh well you find it!

This picture is for Tucker this was the coolest thing to him!

What do you do with giant Marshmallows???

2010-07-14T21:14:00.000-07:00

You get your husband and make a surprise attack on your 5 unsuspecting children,than when that gets boring you taste the marshmallows and realize they are not good at all.

Next you put them on a plate and watch them blow up huge in the microwave while feeling a bit dissapointed that they didn't explode yet also a bit happy because you would have been the one cleaning up the mess!

After that your husband will show off his mad marshmallow skills and than when you decide to try what he has created its actually really good, he has somehow turned gross marshmallows into yummy taffy.

To be a kid again

2010-07-09T16:57:00.000-07:00

This is how I find Sierra sleeping most mornings. It blows me away that she isn't in pain after a night or even hour like this.

Swim lessons in Mexico

2010-07-06T18:13:00.000-07:00

Alright so here is something new and unusual for us. Swim lessons outside of a rec center!! One of Daniels employees was signing her boy up for classes so wanted to know if I wanted to do the little kids because she could help with the language barrier. I was all for it as it would give them something to do and help them swim. Sierra and Courtney are too old. They only take up to age 5. Anyways Daniel and I were a little shocked when we pulled up to the place and thought she was totally kidding us. Were we really dropping our kids in the ghetto to swim????? The pool is super tiny as you can see and they cram 4 classes in it at one time. Sitting down I can reach out and touch my kids. I was shocked to find out I was not allowed in the pool with the twins. They are surely to young to be in there alone. Not here in Mexico!!! They put them in the water and expect them to swim. I am not gonna lie I was really shocked by what they were doing but its working for my kids. The twins have been back and forth the past 3 times with wanting to swim and crying as they swam. Their teachers are really amazing. There is a guy who speaks english so he is mainly in charge of the twins. He has such patience with them and they really like him. He even got Ash to put her head 1/2 way under the water. All the other little kids are swimming under the water or at least going all the way under. My twins will take a while I think. As for Tucker I will just say I was in complete shock the first day when he went all the way under the water and grabbed some diving rings off the ground. (They keep the pool at about 1 1/2 to 2 feet so the little ones can touch. Daniel thinks this is why Tucker isn't scared) Anyways his teacher doesn't speak english so I am looking at him and thinking my poor son has no clue what the teacher is saying he is just doing what the teacher does and trusting him that he will help him back up if he need it. There has been a couple times Tucker has had a terrified look on his face but than he will always give me a thumbs up and say he wasn't scared so maybe its just the mom in me worrying to much. They do 3 days a week for 4 weeks. I am pretty sure my Tucker will be swimming by than. I don't think I need to write about the pics you can tell who my kids are they are white!!!!! Oh yeah the other distiguishing feature which all the mexicans love down here is the blond and red hair.

Kino Beach

2010-06-29T22:49:00.000-07:00

Took the kids to Kino Beach this past Saturday. It was really nice and not a lot of people. We were told to not come on Sunday as that is the busiest day. Thank goodness we go to church that day. The water was super warm which is something I am not used to but still fun. Once we got past the waves the twins loved it. The sand was a little sticky but the twins and Tucker had a blast getting covered in it. There were so many seashells everywhere. The kids brought home a whole bucket full. Most of them in perfect shape!! Sierra and Court spent most of the time saying the water is burning my eyes, the water is burning my nose, I got salt water in my mouth, The sand is sticky, blah blah blah. Than when I would say fine lets go they would scream no we like the beach. Seriously where were these kids raised???? They need to get better or else I will leave them in the car lol. We were able to rent a cabana for $5 which a blessing to our kids. We were not getting sunburned. I am sure the Mexicans were laughing as we kept slathering ourselves in sunblock. The island in the first pic is said to be owned by the Indians so even though it is close you cannot go there. I wonder about some of the stories we have been told while here but hey even if not true they are fun!!!

Moving to Mexico

2010-06-26T07:40:00.000-07:00

Here we are crossing the border. I was so sick to my stomach and it lasted a few hours. I am not sure if I was so nervouse about crossing the border or just coming to a realization that this was real and I was really moving my family into Mexico!

This is Herimossillo. Really not that bad of a place. It is a lot like any mexican town. Graffiti is common here but so is it in North Las Vegas lol!!!

For those who have never been to Mexico this is a common restraunt. Actually this is common for a lot of stuff they just throw some type of roof or fencing around something and call it a restraunt, a store, or even a party place (who needs bounce u when you can have 2 swingsets to have a bday party at???)

This is typical driving down here in Mexico. Buses always do whatever they want. The other cars are not as bad but they still are a bit crazy. I am sure if I tried to drive like they do I would get pulled over.

This is how Daniel had my nightstand decorated! R U kidding me that changed real fast. ha!

This has been our main source of ac since being down here. The ac units they have on the house are not efficient and caused Daniels electricity bill to be 800 us dollars last month! We have a lot of fans throughout the house which still don't keep it cool enough. They should have the ac fixed by the end of the month. I am so sick of a hot house!

Holloway Family Reunion

2010-06-23T07:51:00.000-07:00

We had a reunion with Dans family for the first time in a couple years. All but one of the children were there. It was held up Paragonah Canyon in a beautiful area and a large cabin for us all to sleep. It was a lot of fun and so good to see family again. There was a talent show where Tucker got to show off his talent of wrestling his dad.

Daniel got to play bball again. Its been awhile but by the look on his face you will know he knew it was gonna swish.

Here is the cabin. I would love to go back again.

This tire swing is the coolest. If only there were 5 of them it would have been better!

Just hangin out watchin the horses.

At the end of the reunion we had a wedding to attend. Daniels oldest niece Brittney got married. So crazy looking at her and Cade and realizing that Daniel and I were a few years younger than they are when we got married.

Fast friends Tucker and MAggie loved playing together. Aren't they so cute!

I LOVE this picture of Amy sitting next to the wall of the temple. I can't put my finger on it but there is something so moving to me.

Love em

2010-05-30T13:11:00.001-07:00

Ashley BaiLee and Amy

Rion

All the cousins
Deygan

Courtney

BaiLee

Ashley

Amy

Went up to Caliente for all of 24hrs to see my other family. We haven't seen Josh,Sara, and Rion in 6 months, so it was awesome to have some time with them. I took my niece BaiLee with me so her mommy and daddy could have a break since baby #2 will be here any day. I love having so much family they make my life so happy.

Straight F's

2010-05-18T15:38:00.000-07:00

GOing through stuff and found a letter to myself I had written in 2003 to be opened in 2008. Not sure how I missed it because i move every year but whatever. Anyways I figure I was working on a goal in YWS thats why I wrote the letter. I was in the Young Womens presidency at the time and since I didn't pass off all my goals in YWs my first time around I was gonna do it this time. So here is the base of my letter. In 5 years I want to have accomplished:
learn spanish - F
play the piano - F
Help my husbands buisness be succesfull - F
Be in a house where we can live for awhile (meaning more than a year) - F
recieve my YWS recognition award - F

Obviously I should have put in my letter move every year, have a boy, and twins which would bring me to 5 kids, go crazy! I would have gotten straight A's. Ohwell there is always 2015.

Sisters trip (17 photos), by Rachel Holloway

2010-05-14T13:46:00.001-07:00

I'd like to share my Walmart Digital Photo Center photos with you. Once you have checked out my photos you can order prints and upload your own photos to share.

Aren't they beautiful

2010-05-09T14:29:00.000-07:00

My sister Krysten has been working on these dresses for awhile and finally finished them. How cute are they! They can grow with the girls and actually be tops as they get taller. Of course thats hoping they don't totally stain them first. Ashley loves her new princess dress and walks around saying i princess i princess.

Testimony of the Book of Mormon

2010-04-18T07:34:00.000-07:00

As I watched this video I couldn't help but share it. Everytime I hear the prophet or apostles speak it reaffirms my testimony and beliefs in this wonderful church. I have never doubted the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon or of Joseph Smith. I may have made mistakes and done things that were not inline with what our church teaches but it was never done because I didn't believe. I am so grateful that our Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus Christ came to Joseph Smith and gave him the ability to bring the Book of Mormon to the people of our day. I am grateful to have parents who raised me in a church that allows me to live with my family eternally. I am grateful for a church that teaches and reaffirms the truths of our Heavenly Father no matter where you go or who the leadership is of the church. It is the same everywhere because it is the truth and for that I will be forever grateful and happy to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Testimony of the Book of Mormon

He Lives

2010-04-07T16:34:00.000-07:00

He Lives

One down and one to go

2010-03-25T21:54:00.001-07:00

Amy finally caught on to the whole potty thing and got all her stamps for her chart and got a little puppy. She runs naked all day which is so unlike my other 3 but since Daniel is gone I just let her. She fought me on the potty training thing for awhile and than her little cousin BaiLee got her hooked. She is really good at running to her potty chair whenever she needs to go. Ashley has no desire at all. She is perfectly content to cheer for Amy everytime she goes potty.

Visiting Calico Ghost town

2010-03-24T19:56:00.000-07:00

I was so excited to get the chance to take the kids to one of my favorite stops on the way back from California. My dad took me there when I was probably 12. There were some changes but mostly still the same. The 3 older kids got to do a leather project which I thought was cool because I learned leather in the 6th grade. My favorite part is still the mystery house where water runs uphill, its easier to walk up a plank than down, a broom stands up in the middle of the floor, and its almost impossible to get up from a chair without using your hands. You should really check it out if you are ever passin by. www.calicotown.com

Pictures from Legoland

2010-03-22T19:43:00.001-07:00

We had a blast at Legoland. Wish they stayed open later though 7 hours just isn't enough time. I really liked how they had kid areas all throughout the park it kept the twins entertained while bthe older kids got to go on rides.

Pacific Ocean

2010-03-21T14:50:00.000-07:00

We surprised the kids and took them to California this past Thursday thru Saturday. Thursday night we went to see the new Alice in Wonderland movie that they have been dying to see. I only got to see a bit because of the twins but it sure looked cute. Friday morning we took them to play at the beach it was a bit chilly so I didn't want them swimming but I should have just put them in swimsuits since by the end of them "wading" the three oldest were drenched. They all had a blast though and hopefully in the summer we can take them to a beach to swim. They have never been to a beach before and thought it was totally awesome!

Really??????

2010-02-27T20:16:00.000-08:00

This past month my kids and I have taken our turn on Saturdays to help clean the church building. It hasn't ever been that bad, just usual stuff lying around and left out. Today however was a huge change i felt horrible as soon as I stepped through the doors and saw how dirty the church was. Everywhere I looked it was a mess. My heart broke as I realized this is Heavenly Fathers home and I would be embarrassed if he were to walk through the doors right now. I got to work in the bathrooms first and was even more disgusted as I thought REALLY?????? I would hope this is kids and not grownups making these messes, even so I felt angry that kids weren't understanding this is the Lords house and wondering what their parents teach them? Quite often I thought back to a conference talk years ago that have changed my ways here is the excerpt from the talk;
"During a visit to a Church meetinghouse, President Kimball noticed some paper towels on a restroom floor. He threw them away and then cleaned the sink. A local leader was so impressed by this example of care and respect that he subsequently taught others to show more reverence for Church buildings and other sacred things." I took this to mind and have often not left a restroom or any other room unclean. I thought if a prophet of the Lord can make a habit so can I. There have been many times Daniel has laughed at me because in church dress I have unclogged toilets and cleaned up overflows. He tells me I shouldn't be doing that but I feel the opposite this is my Lords home and I want it to always look nice. My challenge to you is tomorrow and from now on whatever church you belong to try to leave the church nicer than you found it!

Tucker Tucker Tucker

2010-02-25T13:32:00.000-08:00

Everyday when I pick up Tucker from preschool his teacher tells me another of his funny stories. She tells me how he makes her laugh all the time. Anyways so todays story went a little like this. Tucker said "I hated taking naps when I was 3. I would scream and cry the whole time." His teacher said "I am sure your mommy didn't like that." Tucker than said "NO, one time she got so mad she turned into an alien. It was scary." I am wondering if this is what he saw. If so my cover is blown.....

Worth it to Tucker

2010-02-22T18:38:00.000-08:00

Sitting in church yesterday waiting for the meeting to start Tucker starts begging to go out and sit on the couches. I keep teeling him no. Finally I tell him if he doesn't stop than I will take him out and spank his bum. He sat quietly and after a few minutes he said "OK mom you can take me out and spank my bum" catching on I said "ok and than we will come back in" He looked at me and in shock and surprise said "WHAT?" Obviously he thought a spanking would be worth the chance to sit outside on the couches! Gotta love him.

2010-02-16T19:44:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I have survived 2 years. Ashley and Amy are such a joy (most of the time) and I continue to marvel that twins are in our family. Ashley enjoys watching T.V., playing quietly with whatever toy is around her, and staying out of her dangerous sisters path. Ashley has turned into such a lovebug which is a complete 360from her beginning days. If she remembers your face she will run up and just give you loves for no reason at all. It has been enjoyable to watch her change. She is a calm one that is why most of these birthday pictures are of her. Amy was too busy to get pictures.
Amy on the other hand is her complete opposite. She is quite the rowdy one and sticks with Tucker most of the day. She will try anything he does and more. I have never had such an adventorus child before and most days are spent getting her down from something or cleaning up whatever she has gotten into. One of Amys favorite things is books. That is the only time she will sit still. She will load up her arms with books and want you to read to her.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Its been 7 years

2010-01-31T14:46:00.000-08:00

I am so grateful to be spending this day at church as I remember Heather. This message touched my heart and I wanted to share it. I am grateful for my "Fridays" because without them I couldn't have my "Sundays"

Tucker

2010-01-27T13:28:00.000-08:00

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Cruisin the Riveria

2010-01-20T15:49:00.001-08:00

For all you FB people these are the same pictures I put in my album so you don't need to waste your time unless you think I am so adorable you want to see me again:) Anywho these are pictures of our cruise last week. Our favorite port was Mazzatlan the beaches were beautiful and clean and the people really nice not pushy at all. One of my favorite things was 4wheelin on the beach in Cabo. I have never been 4 wheeling before so I rode with Daniel. It was so much fun and Daniel enjoyed making me scream as we went down the steep hills. We got to have a very romantic candlight dinner on the ocean in Puerto Vallarta. I wouldn't mind going on another cruise again the dinner wasn't all the great but I enjoyed just being out on the ocean it was very crazy to look out and only see water. Daniel was sick the whole time but at least could function for the most part. The nights when the waters were rough it was really bad. I think everyone should at least experience a cruise at least once you never know it might be for you but I think Dan and I will stick to land or air next time.

Missing Heather

2010-01-06T09:13:00.000-08:00

Heard this song this morning and thought of Heather. January is a real hard month for me. Thought about posting it on the 31st but can't wait. Alan Jackson did a wonderful job.

Tradition

2010-01-03T10:18:00.000-08:00

This tradition comes from the Holloway line. Every new years eve its all you can eat bannana splits. I take the kids to the store and let them pick out toppings. Tucker hates ice cream but making it is the fun part so he made 2 bowls.He also was very careful as to how they were made. Courtney is a dump and mix girl and Sierra is about what is yummy and LOTS of it. Daniel has his certain way and it always involves strawberries and carmel.

Must have been naughty

2009-12-27T17:53:00.000-08:00

Santa skipped dropping this present off at my house that he dropped at every other teenagers house. You are probably wondering how I know this. Well if you would have been in my ward today there would be no question. Maybe its just cause there are no teenagers in my house but my girls will assure you that they will never be that lucky for Santa to drop them off one of these.

BTW seriously parents set the example and don't bring your phone or let your kid bring theirs to church!

Our week in review

2009-12-20T17:17:00.000-08:00

On Friday Amy decided to climb out of her crib and Ashley decided to climb into Amys crib during naptime so we got the toddler beds set up. I wasn't ready for this step at all and would have much preferred them to potty train themselves if they were wanting to be big girls! They do pretty well at night time but haven't got the hang of naptime yet which is yucky for me.

Courtney is enjoying her golf lessons and Sierra had her last dance/cheer class.

Saturday night we went to Ethel M. Chocolates cactus garden. Every Christmas they have the garden decked in lights. It is very pretty.

Dad was right AGAIN

2009-12-10T05:43:00.000-08:00

It kills me to say it but once again I find out my father was right. I am going through physical therapy trying to fix pain I have in my side and back. Yesterday they really stressed good posture. Hold her head up and don't slouch. All through school I remember my dad telling Mandy and I to stop slouching. Be proud of who you are. Walk tall. Of course who would listen to their dad???? I am paying for it now it is just as hard now to remember but I am trying harder cause now I am paying for it(in all ways) Sorry I didn't listen but whats new? I love you dad.

I love our tree

2009-12-03T12:20:00.000-08:00

Always the favorite part of christmas decorating. The beloved tree came out of the box on Nov 28th and after much fighting from the kids it got decorated. The novelty of the tree wore off for the little ones after 2 days and they are no longer taking ornaments off (or maybe its because I threatned Tucker that if he took another ornament off or told his sisters to than the christmas tree was getting put back in the box!)either way I am happy.

Always a birthday here

2009-11-25T09:49:00.000-08:00

It seems there is always celebrating going on here. This time it was Sierra's. She had her bffffffff come from Logandale and also her cousin came from Overton. I took them to skyzone which is a really cool trampoline place where the floors and walls are covered with trampolines. They also had a sleepover ate tons of candy, watched movies, played games, played with sillystring,and got a few hours sleep. Sierra made out with her gifts this year. DS lite, Nancy Drew ds game, clue spys game, battleship game, disney channel scene it, purse, earrings, necklace, Hannah Montana movie, 3 books, sweater, jeans and shirt, Snow White DVD.

Time

2009-11-14T06:11:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or does it seem like time is flying by? Here we are 1 week in a half from Thanksgiving. Christmas stuff has been out for awhile which is totally bugging my older girls. When do we stop to be grateful and remember what Thanksgiving is all about if we are bombarded with the I wants for Christmas? As a kid I remember Thanksgiving was just as magic as any other holiday. I loved the cousins, aunts and uncles, grandma, and my family all together. Sharing memories, fighting over the last bit of something, laughing and for me as a kid time just stood still. I guess that is the magic of childhood. My life is full of taking care of my 5 kids now and trying to be a great wife to Daniel that it seems days go by without me even knowing. Sometimes it is a blur and I wonder what just happened? I have been told this is just the season of life I am in but as I talk to my siblings who have teenagers it seems like they are still busy and life is always hectic. We really don't have our kids involved in much. They take 1 class from the rec center. Why do I feel so overwhelmed, exhausted, and inadequate all the time? At times I just want to go back to those magical times as a child and enjoy never ending summer days, holidays that seemed to last for days instead of hours, spending time reading or playing the nintendo with Krysten and Mandy all night and sleeping till noon, sleepovers with friends, actually having time to just hang out with friends without chasing kids around the playground, but I guess those are what memories are made of. I am sure I will look back on this time in my life and realize it was greater than I think it is now. I just hope I am making that magic happen for my kids like my parents did for me.

Sierras Poem

2009-11-03T11:27:00.000-08:00

Sierra wrote Halloween poems for everyone in the family. This one was for me and I love it. I think she did an awesome job.
MY HAUNTED HOUSE
The witch is in the kitchen.
The ghosts are in the hall.
The skeletons in the closet.
The shadows against the wall.
When you walk through the door,
you will experience much fright.
Cause you're in my haunted house,
on this Halloween night!

A fun weekend

2009-10-20T13:44:00.000-07:00

O.K. I have a ton of pictures posted but it has been awhile so I think they are well worth it. These were all taken this past weekend up at my sister Krysten's house. We went up there to celebrate Courtneys bday because Daniel was gone on a buisness trip. We played at Discovery Park which is the best park hands down, went to the pumpkin patch and picked pumpkins, saw friends we knew from El Mirage,Az when we lived there years ago, celebrated Courtneys birthday, and just had fun. The twins love being there since the door is constantly open. They run in and out all day. My sister was also dog sitting and all the kids loved that.

Poor girl missed one candle!

The breakfast of champions! Notice the circles under her eyes from lack of sleep and than her shirt says "who needs beauty sleep" obviously she does!

Court likes to jump in pictures when she shouldn't be there. It makes Sierra really mad. I had to laugh at this one though. She reminds me of all the times my dad would jump in other peoples pictures :-)

boys will be boys especially when there is a TON of soft dirt at their feet!

BriAna and Amy

Kya, Ana,and Court

Tucker talked his cousin Ben into carrying his pumpkin for him. Not sure why since the boys are the same size. Ben ended up rolling it. Thanks for the help ben.

Courtney

Sierra

Ashley

Amy

Jacob and Amy

Amy hiding where could she be????

Courts pictures

2009-10-10T21:12:00.000-07:00

A friend of ours gave the twins these shirts when they were first born. I NEVER thought they would fit them, they were so big. Well my girls are so big now and so cute too. Ashley would be Thing 1 and Amy Thing 2 yet when you see them together Amy is first which is how it always ends up. I had Courtney take some pictures while I was helping Sierra with her school work and I think they came out just adorable!

Caution: Enter if You Dare

2009-10-04T21:12:00.000-07:00

This is the wording on the tape my older girls decorated the outside of our house with for Halloween. Strangely though I may just leave it up for awhile; wait who am I kidding I should leave it up till Ashley and Amy leave the house!!!! I felt extremely insane this past week in a half that Daniel has been gone and wondering how military families survive. Every time Daniel leaves for longer than 3 days I turn into a not so nice mom. I try having a positive outlook and strive to be better and spend more time with the kids and make sure they are doing okay. They really hate when Daniel leaves and so I try and make it better, yet all it does is put more stress on me and make me more mental. I have my good minutes and bad minutes but I hate that the yelling seems to outdo the loving. One of my daughters friends was over yesterday and she said "I like your mom she is way nicer than my mom." I was glad she thought that but at the same time wish my kids would think that same thing. I have seen other mothers and wish to be like them but this hit home as I realized that what we portray when others are around isn't usually the same as what we portray when we are alone. Once again that poem comes to mind about if Christ came to your house. Personally for me I hope he sees me on my good days and forgives me on my bad. Way to often I am apologizing to my kids for screaming. I know I am not alone here so to those out there who are having a bad day know that I am with you and a new day begins tommorrow.

Only in Utah

2009-09-23T14:01:00.000-07:00

We saw many things that made us say "only in Utah......

do restraunts advertise catering to church activities,youth conference, family reunions, neighborhood parties, and my favorite campouts really??? who caters burgers to a campout?"

do you get a free bandaid with flu shot" this one still has us laughing

have a carlot full of minivans and have one up on the ramp as the "feature" minivan

and lastly see a boy in a shirt and tie on a tenspeed bike at the college AND he is not a missionary!!!!

I love Utah and the very nice people who accomidated us "hoodlum seminoles!"

A fun getaway

2009-09-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

When we found out FSU was going to play BYU at BYU this past weekend we were so excited. We were lucky to get tickets the day they released them. It was a soldout stadium! We decided to take a late anniversary trip and had Sami watch the kids so we could get away for the entire weekend. We don't get away much and the last time we got away for 2 nights was when Courtney was 18 mo old. On the drive up to Provo we stopped in Cedar City to eat at what we thought was Boomers (it holds history for us and was an AMAZING mexican restraunt) anyways come to find out it is now Cafe Orleans. We were upset yet tried it anyways. It was WONDERFUL. They told us they were moving up to Brianhead in a few weeks so we will totally need to make an out of the way stop next time. If you go to Brianhead I suggest you stop in. I can't be a judge of New Orleans food cause this was my 2nd time but if you do try it the Orleans salad dressing is amazing as the shrimp platter and catfish platter. Man my mouth is watering. Anyways we made it up to Provo and decided to walk around the stadium area for awhile. Two hours later and exhausted we returned to the hotel. Provo really is a beautiful town. I only lived there for 1 year when I was in 1st grade and than visited family on and off but its crazy how many memories it holds for me. On Saturday we ate lunch at a place by our hotel called Burger Supreme. We figured it must be good by the constant flow of traffic on Friday and Saturday and it didn't let us down. Once again amazing food!

The game was awesome. It is amazing the energy that flows through the stadium. Everyone in Provo and even ESPN was saying BYU was gonna beat us but FSU came to play and play they did. My sister Krysten and her husband (dans brother Jared) joined us which made it even more fun. We really do wish we could see FSU play more often. Right now though we will celebrate our victory!!!!

End of game FSU 54 BYU 28

mid 3rd quarter the BYU fans started leaving in masses. It was sad actually to see them leaving. I understand their team was losing bad but my sister said it best when she said "I wonder how it makes the team feel to see their fans giving up on them and walking out"

What can I say the cheerleaders are still my favorite part of any game.

We found a nickel arcade which was a lot of fun. Daniel beat me in every game. I tried one by myself and I still came in last whatever!!

These 2 pictures speak for themselves I believe........

Almost time again

2009-09-11T09:53:00.000-07:00

With General Conference coming up in OCtober I finally finished reading the talks from the April conference and was reminded and inspired to be better and to not be so harsh on myself at times. Every talk reminds me of our Saviors love for each of us. Maybe for my own benefit more than others I am writing this but I would love to hear your thoughts or favorites as well.

Elder Robert D. Hales "Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us. The Lord will never allow us to suffer beyond what we can endure."

Elder Steven E. Snow quoted Elder Wirthlin when he said "The next time you are tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable."

President Boyd K. Packer "The ultimate purpose of all we teach is to unite paretns and children in Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, that they are happy at home, sealed in an eternal marriage, linked to their generations, and assured of exaltation in the presence of our Heavenly Father."

President Monson qouted Mother Teresa when she said "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

follow up

2009-09-09T10:17:00.000-07:00

Doing better today, numbness is all gone and now just pain. Of course that what the drugs are for! Tucker was really scared of me yesterday and didn't want anything to do with me which made me cry but today he likes me again. I am being well taken care of by Jaime and Sami during the day and Daniel Sierra and Courtney at night. True everyone laughs at me but thats okay.

Scared and nervous

2009-09-07T20:18:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning I go in to get my wisdom teeth removed. For the past 3 years I have been told they need to be taken out but life is always to crazy and insurance is never good enough. The past couple months I have felt strongly I NEED to get this done. I finally went in for my evaluation with the surgeon which is ridiculous since if you are under 30 you don't need a visit but since I just turned 30 I now needed one. Anyways I knew that 2 of my wisdom teeth were growing into the molars beside them which was causing part of the painful problem with one of my top teeth. As for my 2 bottom teeth they have now grown into the nerve in my jaw. There is a very slight chance that nerve damage will continue for a long time, they know it will at least be awhile that there is nerve damage in my lower jaw and tongue. That worries me and also the being put to sleep part. I had to be put to sleep for my colonoscopy and it was extremely hard for me to pull out of it and I continued to struggle the remainder of the day. My dr. said hey look at the bright side you can just relax for a few days. I said yeah right I have 5 kids. He said oh not a problem we can work around their schedules. I told him no you don't get it I have a toddler and twin 18mo olds there is no working around their schedule. He laughed and said yeah you're right good luck! I do have to say though that I am very grateful for priesthood blessings and that my husband could give me one. Prayers are awesome but a blessing is always a comfort and makes me feel like I can handle whatever is put in my path. I am lucky to have Jaime and Sami to take care of me this week. I have stocked up on ice cream and hope that by this weekend I will be doing a little bit better. Any advice?

Show your true colors

2009-09-04T09:09:00.001-07:00

Today is college colors day. Yep its that time again.....College football time! If you don't like football or have a fav team go ahead and borrow ours (garnet and gold) and support a REAL team. LOL

life keeps going

2009-09-02T12:58:00.000-07:00

My niece Austyn is a cheerleader st her school and so the past 3 years my girls have not missed the little kids cheer camp. They love it and loved it even more this year since they got to stay with their Aunt Shannon (Austyns mom) the whole time. Every night I called the house was completly crazy. I honestly don't know whats worse screaming babies or squealing kids.

Ashley and Amy didn't like being left out of the backpack fun. Luckily I found these for $5 at T.J. Maxx. Aren't they adorable?

I wanted to post these last week but it took me a little longer to get back into the school mode than I thought, plus Daniel has been working longer hours and I am waking up earlier to cram everything into my day so anyways excuses excuses thats all they really are.

Halloween costume

2009-08-27T14:23:00.000-07:00

My friend Lemira has to recreate this little guy for her son for Halloween. Looked hard to me until we were talking about costumes the other day and Tucker said this is what the twins need to be for Halloween

What? You don't know what this is? It's a Cheeka Pock of course! Duh!!!

Tuckers first day

2009-08-25T12:09:00.000-07:00

Tucker started preschool today. I am not sure what is going on in this picture but it's exactally how he wanted it taken. He wears these glasses whenever he is scared or nervous about something. Just picked up Tucker he won't tell me much he said it's a secret. Good thing I know his teacher very well or I would be worried :-)

First day of school

2009-08-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

A new school year has come again. My girls were very nervous. I am not quite sure why cuz they have gone to a new school almost every year. This school is HUGE but very nice. The girls teachers seem nice and I look forward to a good year. Sierra is in shock that she is a 5th grader now. I don't think it will be that bad for me until graduation than it will seem strange that she will no longer be in Elementary school. Tucker couldn't let his sisters have all the spotlight. He couldn't just take a regular picture either. It's so funny to me the way girls "pose" amd the way boys do.

Harper Holloways

2009-08-21T12:53:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things is having my sister for my sister in law also. While Daniel was gone for a week my sister and kids came down to play at my house and we loved it. Here are some of my favorite pics that Krysten took at the sprinkler park.

7 of the 11 kids having fun in the pool

Courtney and Amy

Sierra keeping Amy warm

Courtney and BriAna

I love these pics of Ashley cause it is very hard to get good pictures of her let alone get a smile. She did a modeling shoot for Krysten all by herself. I don't know what got into her but she was working the camera.

Amy decided to jump in on the fun

Not to be outdone by her little sisters Sierra needed her own turn.

Happy Bday to me take 2

2009-08-16T17:59:00.001-07:00

My little sisters (by choice*U*) bday is the day before mine, they are 10 years younger than I am so they hit their 20th before I hit my 30th. Its hard to believe but they were a little more excited than I was about mine. Their mom ( my other mom) came down for the weekend and took us out for lunch at Cafe Rio and than got us a cake from Coldstone. It was all so yummy. Thanks again mom!

My birthday cake. Seems as my family gets bigger the less cake there is maybe next year I will request 2 cakes!

Can you tell I am very excited about this present? It's a............

SNUGGY! I got one from Courtney and one from Tucker. This is my Statue of Liberty pose.

I also got a 4 shirts, candles, money and a GC which I gladly spent at Bed Bath and Beyond getting me the waffle maker I have been wanting for years now and smoe little items I have been eyeing. Daniel got me some awesome perfume and body wash. It's called Fancy Love by Jessica Simpson. Daniel actually saw me smelling this one AND he remembered!!!!!!!!!! I was shocked but oh so happy. I had a really good bday and no tears were ever shed.

Happy Birthday to Me

2009-08-12T19:28:00.001-07:00

Thanks to my little sisters Sami and Jaime I had this wonderful stuff to wear. Was my family totally embarrassed as we went to the library than to the Mile Shops in Planet Hollywood and on to takeout at Olive Garden oh yeah they were and it was so nice. I sang to myself all day since no one else would. I think Daniel cringes whenever a birthday comes because I get a little strange. More pictures to come.........

boys will be boys

2009-07-26T23:13:00.001-07:00

About once a year we get to see our friends the Carbonneaus from Arizona. They are always traveling through Vegas so we get a nice visit and Tucker gets to play with some boys for a change. These boys are all boys too. This time the house got crazy with them being superheroes and fighting the bad guys. For some reason Wes and Travis ganged up on Tucker not sure how that was fair but they were all laughing so hey no harm done.

A worthwhile book

2009-07-21T13:10:00.000-07:00

I don't get hardly anytime to read and trying to stay focused on a book is really difficult for me since the twins arrived. However there is a book that was recommended to me after one of my good friends listened to me and watch me go through this VERY difficult past year. The book is an eye opener and much like the book The Miracle of Forgivness I started out reading it thinking this won't pertain to me but I'll read it cause my fried thinks it will help only to realize chapter after chapter that I NEEDED this book. The title is Bonds That Make Us Free healing our relationships, coming to ourselves. Written by C. Terry Warner
I want to share some passages that were especially helpful to me.

*Who we are is who we are with others. How they seem to us is a revelation of ourselves.

*We have but little conception of how worthwhile we are because we are working so hard to prove how worthwhile we are!

*A responsible step in loosening the grip of any lie we might be living is to ask ourselves, solemnly and seriously, this momentous question: "Might I Be in the Wrong?"

*The act of blaming can't co-exist with self-responsibility or with freedom from inner agitation and strained relationships. Abandon the practice of blaming, and we see the fear melt away that we have associated with being honest about ourselves and taking the full measure of responsibilty for our emotional and spiritual condition. The blamers lie is a work of darkness and it disappears in the light of truth.
(my dad actually told me this same thing around the time I was reading the book. it has really helped me)

* We do not control the timing of a change of heart. We make ourselves available for it by faithfully doing the right things for the right reasons; that much does lie within our control. But just when and how a change of heart will come we cannot force. It's like physical healing: our spirits, like our bodies, seem to know how to heal themselves when the obstacles to healing are removed. Our part - the part in which deliberation, planning, willpower, and persistance play their roles - consists of removing the obstacles.

*Unless we change in our hearts towards the people we struggle with here and now, we are condemed to struggle with whomever we find ourselves associating with.

This last one I will share is the one that has helped me the most and has opened my heart and eyes to what they weren't seeing and feeling. This one saved my life in many ways.

**Calling a change of heart "a healing" captures something important about it. Like the bodies healing it's not something we make happen. And it's not something that happens to us either. We might describe it best with terms like recovery and return and coming to ourselves. Healing comes about natuarally, WHEN THE CAUSES OF DISEASE HAVE BEEN REMOVED. It is a self mending or recuperation that brings a natural return of our being to it's proper condition. This means the healing of the soul cannot be forced.

I am still striving daily to get better but I feel I have made tremedous progress and I am so thankful for my friend for loaning me this book and thankful for Daniel for staying by my side even when I made it very difficult. Of course I can't forget my Savior and my Heavenly Father who always listened as I knelt in prayer crying more times than not.

Our 4th of July

2009-07-16T08:05:00.000-07:00

We went to Paragonah,UT to spend time with family for the 4th. We enjoyed a small town parade, games, and food. The weather was wonderful which made for a lot more fun than it would have been here in Vegas.

Ashley and Amy spent a lot of time fighting over this car. Usuallly ended withone of them getting pushed out and crying while the other laughed.

If only life was made of these types of decisions.....

Amy loves water and would stay in it forever if I let her.

Cousins had a slip n slide which was put to a lot of use this weekend.

At the parade waiting for the candy to come

Happy 4th!

Father and son race at the park. Daniel took on another son cause his dad is overseas.

Check out Courts mouth. Who knew it took that much concentration to go fishing.

egg toss

balloon toss

Ashley

Amy

All the races. Yes even I raced against my better judgement. I HATE running but my friend talked me into it. I thought as long as I didn't come in last I would be o.k. Daniel lovingly informed me I did come in last and said but you weren't running as fast as you could. Yeah O.K. I was totally booking it. I will NEVER enter another race!!!!!! Hey on the flip side I did win a quarter.

Amy ran in the 1-2 year old race. Ashley wouldn't do it but Amy had a blast. She was running so fast Daniel couldn't get a pic with our SLOW camera! For the rest of the day Amy thought whenever she saw Daniel it was a race. She would take off running and than get so happy when she reached him. Too cute.

Slip n slide at Grandpas and Grandmas. Not much room to run so Daniel would give them a little push to get them farther down.

Daddy Daughter Date

2009-07-12T12:54:00.001-07:00

June 30th was the yearly Daddy Daughter Date for the girls 8-12 in our ward. I remember always looking forward to that special date with my dad when I was that age and I love watching Sierra and finally Courtney prepare with so much excitement for thier date with daddy. This year the theme was Prom so they all got decked out in their nicest clothes and got to go dancing with their daddy. Sierra had a hard time this year having to share her dad since the past 2 years she didn't have to. They were worried about the dancing part but dads always know how to make it fair and fun and SURPRISE fun was had by all. Daniel even roped in one other girl who was there with her uncle (who was to old to dance he thought*U*) to have the final dance. They all enjoyed it and are already looking forward to next year.

Trying Harder

2009-07-09T15:07:00.001-07:00

Almost finished reading my June Ensign (magazine from my church) and there is an article in there about my last post. It really hit home and I will from here on out try harder. Daniel has always been good in telling me that I am beautiful but I know that I really should be better at bringing out the beauty that I have been given. I know I don't need to be perfect just do the best I can at the time and not cop out.

The article is entitled Our Refined Heavenly Home
By:Douglas L. Callister
of the Seventy

Many years ago an associate of mine decided he would please his wife by sharing with her a specific compliment each night as he arrived home. One night he praised her cooking. A second night he thanked her for excellence in housekeeping. A third night he acknowledged her fine influence on the children. The fourth night, before he could speak, she said, “I know what you are doing. I thank you for it. But don’t say any of those things. Just tell me you think I am beautiful.”

She expressed an important need she had. Women ought to be praised for all the gifts they possess—including their attentiveness to their personal appearance—that so unselfishly add to the richness of the lives of others. We must not let ourselves go and become so casual—even sloppy—in our appearance that we distance ourselves from the beauty heaven has given us.

What Happened?

2009-07-07T12:58:00.000-07:00

When I was in highschool many of my friends would say "You probably do your hair and makeup to go to the bathroom." I laughed than but now I wonder why I don't feel the same way about myself now. Don't even get me started on time because I don't have any yet me sister says it only takes 5 minutes. Yeah 5 minutes that destruction is going on in my house cause I turned my back. It is easiest just to get the kids ready throw my hair in a ponytail and head out the door. The other day I came back from shopping and Sierra said "mom why are your pants like that?" I look down and my pants are in a big turn up to my knees, I had been in the wading pool earlier with 4 babies and totally forgot. We than check me over and I have no makeup on my hair is in a pony tail with a bright purple scrunchie that doesn't match and my pants are folded. Basically I mortified my daughter and my husband and all I could think was at least we live in the city now so no one knew me. I wish I could get myself back in gear with looking nice or at least presentable. I want to wear clothes that aren't hand me downs or 2nd hand, I want to have a haircut that looks perfect no matter what I do, I want my makeup to go on flawless and look beautiful since for some reason the same makeup only looks good when my sisters apply it, I want I want I want. I really am not into looking perfect for everyone else just looking nice for my husband and not embarrasing my kids and mostly for looking in the mirror and thinking WOW I am HOT! O.K. that may be a stretch LOL. What have you other ladies lost since you became a wife and mom I know I am not the only one.

mermaid

2009-07-06T07:15:00.000-07:00

When I saw that the Silverton Lodge had a huge fish tank with a mermaid, I knew we had to take Courtney there. She has loved mermaids ever since I can remember. We not only got to see the mermaid but went into the Bass Pro Shop where there was more cool stuff to see and do. I am surprised I actually got Daniel out of that store. This is another one of the cool FREE things to do in Vegas.

Boys can't pass up cool bikes! This picture is so funny to me because when Courtney was this same age we have a picture of her in front of a tree doing this same pose! I am not quite sure what the pose is about.

The twins were totally mesmorized we couldn't get them to turn around for any pictures.

Sierra wanted to pretend she was fishing here is her pose.

You can't see this fish tank but look at Tucker I think he was done with me telling him to "smile for the camera."

How did we ever.......

2009-07-02T16:43:00.000-07:00

get Tucker to stop using a pacifier??? This past 6 months (way after the babies were done with theirs) Tucker decided he likes always having something in his mouth. When he is watching T.V.or even playing sometimes. Most his toys have the paint gone which makes me worry about the whole lead and China thing, but anyways, he has never kept one in his mouth while sleeping. It was stuck tight too we tried pulling but couldn't get it out, so I did what any loving mother would do I took a picture to be used sometime in the future!

family fun

2009-06-28T13:18:00.000-07:00

Even though our backyard is small we still enjoy it. We have a patch of grass big enough for the little ones and a patio which they can all chalk on and play on also. We have been enjoying the cool weather in the evenings but recently that all change when the HEAT found us.